In the dream the congregation is larger than usual, meeting in a huge church with a stone floor. The priest is absent, and I will have to lead the group in a rite they do not know well. There seem to be no prayer books, though there are many other irrelevant volumes scattered around. Things quickly descend into chaos. We cannot recall the words, people are frustrated, and the group becomes unruly. As we approach the eucharist, I determine simply to quote these lines of verse: "A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou."

Back in the day I put together a web page about the Rubaiyat, which still exists here. All inadequacies I lay firmly at the feet of "we were designing for Netscape 3, dammit!"
3:55:32 PM    please comment []

Now, you may not know that ~ unlike most trees ~ ginkoes come in sexes. Yes, they do. You have your male ginko trees and your female ginko trees. If you want baby ginkoes, you have to have both, or you have to fertilize by hand.

But ~ HELLO ~ we are in an urban environment, and we do not wish to have baby ginkoes sprouting all over everywhere. We want just the number of ginkoes we have, and if we want more, we'll do as God intended and go out and buy more.

So what did these botanical geniuses do? They bought all female ginkoes.

What's wrong with that, you ask, do I have something against girls???

No. I'm a girl myself, and I think girls are just swell.

What I have a problem with is girl ginkoes. Because they fruit. And then the fruit falls off the tree and lands on the sandwalk. Where unfortunate pedestrians step on it. Leaving a big gooshy slipperly spot which is a navigational hazard. And then the pedestrians carry the smushed fruit around on their shoes all day.

Did I mention that ginko fruit smells remarkably and penetratingly like putrefying shit?

Note to future urban planners: there is no point passing and enforcing lovely anti-poop laws for people with dogs if you then go and plant the entire neighborhood with female ginko trees.
3:05:29 PM    please comment []