Wednesday, March 26, 2003

The War of Art Last night I started rereading Steven Pressfield's book, The War of Art. When he started describing Resistance, I was struck by the resemblance to most descriptions of Saddam Hussein. "Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work....It will reason with you like a lawyer or jam a nine-millimeter in your face like a stickup man. Resistance has no conscience. It will pledge anything to get a deal, then double-cross yo as soon as your back is turned....It understands nothing but power. It is an engine of destruction...." (from pages 9 and 10.) Perhaps you've read Robert Bly's A Little Book on the Human Shadow. If so, you'll remember how Bly suggests that countries have shadows too - and how wicked and powerful despots in the world can hold and embody all the evil that the "good" countries deny in themselves. So what struck me is that perhaps Saddam Hussein (and other similar world figures) are partly formed out of the projections of individual "good folks." "Me good, he bad." Bly goes on to suggest that one way to lessen the amount of projected shadow energy loose in the world, is to do one's own creative work. Creative work is one way to "eat your own shadow" and accept more parts of yourself. So perhaps just by going to the studio day after day, working, making art (or a book, or a dance, or a house) - this is changing the energy of the world. To go to the studio day after day, or to the writing shack, or wherever it is one does one's real work - requires confronting Resistance. Pressfield calls this the War of Art. It's crossed my mind that maybe something about this current war in Iraq has wakened a warrior part of myself. This is a part of me that will go to the studio every day again and stay with it. In the past I've been a fervent pacifist. I've denied any trace of a warrior in myself. Now I'm not at all sure that this war is wrong. It may well be the best course of action. In any event, while soldiers summon all their courage to fight in Iraq - the least I can do is go to my studio and make art. 11:08:55 PM    comment []

What to do between waking and peak energy time? (total time on actual bowls today: 1 3/4 hours) After doing some computer consulting work, I went back to the studio. Worked another ten minutes or so to experiment on fixing spots in the bends that I don't like. I think this will work ok. It felt good to start last night and today, catching up on some income-producing work. I liked taking as much time as I wanted in the studio, but I was getting anxious about finances. Clearly though, my "peak time" energy from about 10 a.m. till 1 or 2 p.m. is the best time to work on bowls. It's tough for me to get started in the morning. That period from waking till peak time begins, is a problem. I can do computer work and earn some money, but then am apt to work on through my peak energy time and arrive at the studio late in the day and grouchy. So I've started going straight to the studio most mornings. Once there, I'm in a fog. "Who am I, and what am I doing here?" I need a starting routine that I can do half asleep, so that when I do come fully awake I'm there in the studio, ready to go. 5:15:50 PM    comment []

Breakthrough for my own process - from now on, iron is spontaneous again (time on actual bowls so far today: 1 1/2 hours) And what a 1 1/2 hours these were. I wrapped the "clean" copper mesh part of this piece in plastic wrap and brought it out into the forge. Placed it on the best draft so far of the iron for it. Saw immediately that it's all wrong. The loops are too big. It's all out of proportion. The copper mesh part is overwhelmed, lost. Instead of feeling devastated - "All that time and effort wasted, blah blah blah" - I felt liberated. I can make smaller loops, no problem, easier really. On a hunch I tried the copper mesh part with the first iron I'd made for it, a spontaneous piece that was so far from the wire model that I'd cast it aside in disgust. This piece has real possibilities. It might solve some problems at the same time - problems of how to hold the copper mesh part in place. My first impulse was to take a break and celebrate this breakthrough. (You may have read Annie Dillard's book on writing, where she talks about the impulse, once you've actually gotten yourself to start writing, to realize that you've been writing for a whole ten minutes and to stop and take a break to celebrate.) I remembered Annie Dillard, smiled, and decided I could work on this piece a little. It may or may not work out. I did it really fast, not at all carefully, so it's more like a sketch in iron than a real piece. There may be some flaws that I can't fix, that will lead me to set it aside. That's not the main point. My main breakthrough for today is that the question of whether or not to copy the models, feels settled. The answer is no. It's fine to make the models, make drawings, even full size drawings. But once I start to make the real iron pieces, I'll do better to work spontaneously. This first spontaneous piece fits the purpose - to harmonize with the copper mesh part I'd already made - much better than the copies of the wire model. This is why I feel liberated and happy. I'm glad I learned what I learned from my attempts to copy the model. I learned a lot about making graceful bends. I learned a lot about seeing the iron - always the main thing. And from now on I can work with the iron spontaneously again, with confidence that this is the best process for me even with these mixed media bowls. This is just for my own process. It doesn't help anyone else find their own best process. Except that I can recommend making an online journal like this. I'm watching my own process better, and noticing more, since I started this weblog. Before, I made plenty of notes on paper, and wrote pages about my process. But it didn't move me forward the way this online journal does. I tended to go in circles, lost, when I wrote only in my own notebooks. Now I'm making some progress. 11:33:32 AM    comment []