Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Well, I can go unset the CD player. Did a quick Visit to my Dream Studio to consult my 80-year-old self about whether or not to try to get up earlier, get back to an 11pm to 7am sleep cycle. You can read the whole dialogue if you like, but the answer is no. This answer is just for me, for now. I can't say of course what anyone else should do. If you haven't figured that out by now, you haven't read much here. I've got my hands pretty full with my own life. Though I do post a lot at art message boards like the Crafts Report and Wet Canvas. Sometimes answers just pop out. 10:53:36 PM    comment []

Alone for a week My life partner has been away on a holiday for several days now. I can make a report now on some small discoveries. The main thing is that no possible benefits of a simple life living alone can possibly outweigh the benefits and joy of living with my partner. That said, I did a few things I wouldn't ordinarily do in our usual routine together. I slept later since no one was stirring about. This has been a mixed blessing and I have the CD player set to wake me up tomorrow. I ate greens for supper - steamed kale, to be specific. Also canned ravioli on a different night. It's amazing that my partner doesn't like canned ravioli, especially cold right out of the can, but there's no accounting for taste. A friend reminded me that I could be eating coffee ice cream like crazy. Maybe I'll go get some tonight or tomorrow. That hardly counts, though, since it's not unheard of to have two flavors of ice cream in the house, one for each of us. I cleared one kitchen counter completely and scrubbed it. It looked a little bare and odd, actually. I feel free to dump the mail on it since it's a convenient height. Or to sort papers on it. (Yes, I do wash it afterward.) Of course I've eaten whenever I've wanted to eat - no schedule. This has confirmed the generalization that people eat less when they just eat alone when they're hungry. I've actually spaced meals out more than I do usually when supper's always around six or six-thirty. One night I gave myself a full massage. (This is not as difficult as one might think - well worth trying if you've never done it.) To do this with my partner in the bed would be like being a huge cat making the bed shake in an hour long bath - not a considerate thing to do. I see that I could do it on a floor mat, though. I've only done it once so I can't say that I've established it as a habit. But I did sleep very soundly that night. I rented four DVDs that my partner would hate watching: Artificial Intelligence (too sci-fi), Anna and the King (too something), Lassie (too doggy), and Pollock (already watched.) Actually renting Pollock was my reason for going into Movie Gallery, but once there, I realized my opportunity. Dances with Wolves is my usual partner on holiday fare, but it was checked out. I got started again with weight lifting, but I don't see that as having anything to do with my partner being away. The report might be incomplete without an account of things I imagined I'd do if my partner were away for a week - but didn't do. At least, I haven't done them yet: Be much more productive in the studio. (OK, this was pretty lame to start with.) Get going again drawing cartoons in the evening. (It turns out I like to watch videos as much or more, alone or with my partner.) Do a lot more art study at night. I HAVE done some every evening, but it's about the same amount as I'd do with my partner here. Keep the cabin very uncluttered and clean. (It's nice to be able to spread out just MY junk everywhere, and I do take my shoes off when I come in the cabin - most of the time. But basically the cabin looks about the same as usual. Hey, that counter is clean though.) Would I trade a clean kitchen counter for my partner back early? You bet! Meanwhile - it's between going to get coffee ice cream and watching Lassie. I'm really suffering, right?     8:02:04 PM    comment []

Some satisfaction Today I got some work done in iron - not much, but enough to tell myself that I did some work in iron. The other satisfying thing is that I took a good long walk at a special place. Maybe this was an unconscious reward for some studio accomplishment. The walk was a late afternoon impulse. I drove about four miles to my favorite place for an afternoon or evening walk. It's on a quiet road on the edge of Sautee Valley. On one side of the road, a small forested mountain rises up. On the other, you look across calm pastures to the national forest mountains to the north. There's a large creek, a smaller stream with a little waterfall. Most of all, there's a sense of perfect harmony between human beings and the rest of nature. There's a balance between wildness and domestic comfort. Even on a cloudy day, it looks beautiful to me: I've found that if ever I'm disturbed about something, or just generally unhappy, a walk along this road never fails to calm and soothe me. There's a sense of happiness there that's beyond words, beyond thought. It's a bodily sense of well being that just comes naturally. Why don't I walk there every day? I feel a little funny about driving a total of 9 miles round trip to do it. That's $3.29 at this year's mileage rate, or $98.55/month if I went every day. Then again, I guess that's cheap for what it does, isn't it? 7:43:59 PM    comment []