Medical emergency is over. Saturday to our surprise, my life partner was discharged from the hospital. We came home in a daze.
The second day home, yesterday, I started to feel frustrated and discouraged. For one thing, I got obsessed with internet research on the ideal diet for myself and my partner. I really believed that after years of reading about this, mostly inconclusive, that I'd be able to find "the answer" in one day. Didn't happen.
This morning I went to the studio, determined to work on my own stuff. I felt very disoriented but was able to get to the "decks cleared for work" point. When I did the first Effortless Mastery guided meditation, tears started to flow as I began to relax. The same thing happened when I did this meditation once while my partner was in the hospital. Tears came, then an aching throat (more tears on the way) and then past that, deep relaxation. This time, I felt how very, very tired I feel. The meditation helped me let go of my sense of urgency and pressure. All that was left was tiredness.
Finally, the light dawned. For over a week adrenaline has been keeping me alert to do whatever was needed, sleep or no sleep. Now the adrenaline has slowed way down. Result: exhaustion. I'm just tired!
It's amazing how easy this is not to notice. I really expected myself to come home from the hospital and plunge right into work the first chance I got. Some people can probably do this. Right now though I'm just tired.
I took a long nap and am going to take it easy. How can a smart person be so dumb? Answer: when she's very, very tired....
6:01:59 PM 
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