Tuesday had a good morning in the studio. I had taken a long nap the afternoon before, then gone to bed early and slept long. Woke full of energy and a desire to go to the studio.
It's been downhill from there. Tuesday afternoon we went out on errands and stayed way into the evening. Yesterday I woke tired and unprepared. Was easily distracted and spent the whole day fruitlessly. Fruitless action is as tiring as fruitful action, perhaps more so.
This morning it dawns on me that perhaps tiredness is like pain. If you let it get too extreme, it becomes very hard to "get ahead of it." When I broke my elbow and cracked my sacrum two years ago, the nurses warned me to give myself a little morphine whenever I first started to feel pain. They told me that it's a mistake to be stoic about it, because once the pain really takes hold it's hard to reduce it.
Maybe the same is true of tiredness. It seems very difficult right now for me to catch up with it and really stay rested. As soon as I start to feel energy, I'm tempted to spend it all even though I seem to have no reserves.
At the same time, I'm arguing with myself. Shouldn't I be able to work, tired or not? Let the work give me energy? Well, I've been trying that. And I tried resting. Resting seemed to work much better. I'll give it another chance.
10:43:26 AM 
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