Saturday, June 07, 2003

A SEX TOUR THROUGH COSTA RICA. WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW. by Connoisseur - April 2003  .............................................................................................................. Buenas Noches. I wasn't going to post a report on this trip -- El Kohones did a fine job, but here I am in a hotel room in Orlando, so here goes. It's going to be long, so you are hereby warned: For the uninitiated, San Jose, Costa Rica is a hobbiest's paradise: Close to the US, cheap, legal prostitution, beautiful women, easy to navigate, Spanish isn't absolutely necessary, plenty of opportunities to gamble, and -- if you're not careful -- a chance to fall in love, sort of. This was my 7th trip to San Jose. I have gone alone and with friends. Everything I needed to know about the sex scene there, was learned on a couple of message boards, as well as talking to the other guys in the various casinos. My travel buddies this trip were El Kohones and GreaseElbow. They got to San Jose a day before me, but I was staying longer. HA! On my last trip, I met just the nicest, sweetest, bestest girl from the Dominican Republic, Denise. We hit it off like gangbusters. I've seen a few before, on the Net, like Yanine Diaz, but boy, was this one something... When I left, we exchanged many phone numbers, including her home number in the DR (I work there a lot, so I hoped we would get together in Santiago). I was her first customer in San Jose, and she was only supposed to be there on a 30-day visa, so I was hoping she would keep some of her sweetness. Well, I talked to her mother a lot in the DR, but it seems Denise never made it home. I got her number (I thought) for San Jose, so I was excited about that. Expecting to spend some serious time with Denise, I booked a (very nice) room at the Radisson Hotel. I normally stay at the Presidente, but the Radisoon is great, and I registered us both, so there would be no hassle, as the Radission is not chica-friendly. My other advance plan was to meet up with elboeGrease and El Kohones for dinner the first day. It was both mine and El K's birthday, so we were going to the famous Thomy's Paprika. SATURDAY, APRIL 26, 2003 Happy birthday to me! One of my friends drives me to the airport as a birthday gift, where I commence spending 8 hours waiting for the damm lightning to stop so we could get out of there. I spoke with elboeGrease twice, and we scrapped our original plans and if we didn't meet at the Del Rey, they would go to Thomy's and I would meet them there. The plane lands at 6pm, as opposed to 11:45. I clear customs and immigration, and get a cab to the hotel. I am all shaved and checked in before 7, and I have to meet the guys at 8. "Arte's Sauna," I tell the cab driver. We make it in record time. The deal here is a full hour including massage, sex, steam room, sauna, all for about $35. I select a cute thin blonde (on top) chica, tell her I only have 45 minutes, and off we go. I leave Arte's spent, and hustle over to the Del Rey, where I immediately find El K and elbowGrease. They sympathize until I told them about Arte's, and off we go to Thomy's. Dinner was as ever: great. I found out I don't like deer, but who knew? I had called Denise's number, but the girl who answered told me she wasn't there, and nothing else. After dinner, I head over to the Del Rey to gamble (very poorly) and wait (in vain) for Denise. I go home alone at 2 am disappointed. In retrospect, I had a good day: A great dinner and a killer 45 minutes with a hot chica. But I wanted something else. SUNDAY, APRIL 27, 2003 I wake up, shower and hustle over to the Presidente to meet the boys for breakfast. elbowGrease and I walk around town a little and I go to the supermarket and buy some coffee for both me and my mother. Do yourself a favor, and pick up some Cafe Britt when you're over there. You'll thank me later. We head to the Colonial Casino (next door to the Del Rey) and get killed at their version of Blackjack. El K shows up at some point, and we made a new friend from West Palm Beach. They decide to play craps, and I tag along. Now, I never shot craps before, and I'm still not sure what happend, but I threw the dice for a long time, got high-fived A LOT, and finished up with a whole caseload of chips. So I guess I love craps. It's now 12 or 1 in the afternoon. The four of us go to this hole in the wall Chinese place down the block, and have a great lunch. We split up until dinner. El K and elbow have invited two stars from Friday's Big Boob Lesbian Oil Show for dinner. I am hoping to find Denise, so we set a time for later. I head back to the Blue Marlin. I call her on the way, again no luck. I am pretty much resigned to the No Denise scenario, so I hedge my bet and get a room ($39) at the Hotel Morazon. This place is in between the Del Rey and the Presidente, and is chica-friendly. If I wasn't going to be with Denise, I did not need the fancy room off the beaten path. I will check out of the Radisson tomorrow morning. Back to the Tute table, where I pretty much hold my own. I run into Stephanie, a nice Colombiana who I have previously flirted with, but never took back to the room. I let her do a sales job on me, and off we go. Stephanie is older than I like (probably early 30s), but she had a good attitude, and was VERY good at her job. I had a ball, all for $53 plus a $13 tip. Pathetic loser that I am, I ask her if she knows Denise. Of course, she says yes. We go back to look for her. Of course not. This is where I get worse. I offer a 10,000 colonne reward for information leading to the location of Denise. I announce that I will be at such and such a spot at midnight, and whoever brings her, wins the award. I then trot off to the Presidente to meet the boys and girls for dinner. Dinner was very good at a steak house recommended by the concierge at the Del Rey. El Kohones was with (I think) Michelle, a pretty young thing who kept referring to him as "Mi Italiano". They make out like teenagers all through dinner. How sweet. elbow's date was none other than my pal Ena. We've seen each other professionally and socially. She's also one of the girls that I set Wacko up with for his 40th birthday, so she's happy to see me and glad I was the friend they told her about. Dinner was fun -- all five of us laughed and laughed. It was a good group. Ena asked me why I was chica-less, and I explained all about Denise to her. She summed it up in two words: That's bad. I know she's right, but the trip from head to heart is a long one. After dinner, the four kids head off to the room for god knows what, and I go back to the Del Rey to (what else?) gamble and look for Denise. Again, no luck on both counts. I am back at the Radisson and asleep by 2 am. TO BE CONTINUED... .............................................................................................................. Don't miss out the end of this fabulous trip. Tips you can only find on THE CONNOISSEUR REPORT - World Sex Guide. 11:51:59 PM    comment []

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