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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

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"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

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  Thursday, July 31, 2003


A KEWPIE DOLL FROM THE CARNIVAL

 

I at least click on every Carnival of the Vanities entry, and I do my level best to read the whole thing. Partly to give the piece a chance (maybe it gets better after the author warms up, I think optimistically), and partly as an exercise in self-discipline (it builds character to perform unpleasant tasks).

 

In a lot of entries, mostly the political ones, the author just goes on and on, piling too-long adjectives on top of passive verbs on top of "kill-me-now" length sentences lasting 8 or 10 lines. Endless chains of prepositional phrases leave you alternately screaming for air and begging for mercy. "Please, God," you pray, "just one witty metaphor, a line of white space, ANYTHING!"

 

But sometimes, despite intimidating length, I'll follow a post to the far-distant end. Usually because the writer understands that it takes more than subject-matter wisdom to keep the reader awake. It takes variation in sentence length, and occasional bits of surprising, non-standard language usage. Just as your mind starts drifting, your hit a speed-bumpy, beautifully-turned phrase, and you perk right up with an amused "Heh. Gotta remember that one."

 

American Digest has this in spades. Via CotV #45, I've reacquainted myself with a blogger who first entertained me with his New Blog Showcase entry. This time he pens a windy post relating the news media to the symptoms of ADD. But this wind is that sweet, cooling, summer-evening-out-on-the-deck breeze, and not the fetid-fumes-off-the-landfill waft that one often gets from bloggers who have "something to say".

 

He's impressed me mightily on 2 separate occasions, and onto the blogroll he goes.

 


posted by Harvey at 10:08:44 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




THE JOY OF BARBERING       

 

I hate getting my hair cut.

 

It's not that I want to be some shaggy-headed hippy freak, or anything. I do keep it short. It's just that I hate the time in the chair. I'm a busy guy, I've got a lot to do, I'm not getting richer in the process of getting my grass mowed, and can you please just get me out of here so I can get on with my life?

 

I used to got to random, conveniently-located hair salons and just tough it out. After all, there's something not entirely unpleasant about having a woman gently stroking your scalp, even if she isn't standard Playboy issue.

 

But oh, the hot-knife torture of dead-dull conversation between we've-got-nothing-in-commons. I just couldn't stand it.

 

Eventually, though, I found a place where the process was practically pleasant. A barbershop. Preferably with some guy who's been cutting hair for at least 20 years. Instead of brainless yammering about 6 months of "beauty school", I get an entertaining monologue about quality guy stuff: sports, cars, sports, politics, and maybe some sports, too.

 

A decent-looking 'do & witty banter. Can't beat that.

 

Via CotV#45, mtpolitics.net comments further (and much better) on what a wonderful world it can be when you have the right pair of hands wielding the scissors. If you like your barber, you might want to hand him a copy of it along with his tip the next time you pop in for a little off the top.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:54:54 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



ART FOR POLITIC'S SAKE

 

I find Socialism somewhere between disagreeable and repugnant, depending on my mood. Mostly repugnant, because I have an engineer's heart, and I HATE things that don't work.

 

Via CotV#45, I've found Reflections in D Minor's very apt metaphor for Socialism's central flaw:

 

--------------------- 

This is why so many artists and intellectuals - genuinely intelligent people - believe in socialism. It's a beautiful system; it's logical and moral but, like many beautiful and well conceived works of art, it cannot exist in reality. Trying to make socialism work in the real world is like expecting the physics apparent in an M.C. Escher drawing to work in the real universe.

------------------

 

She goes on from there in elegant fashion. It's a good read. Short, and full of creamy, sensible goodness. Stop by & you'll see what I mean.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:48:09 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



DOING HIM JUSTICE

 

I've wanted to say something about the passing of Bob Hope, but I never felt up to the task. I mean, yet another piece of sappy, blogospheric tripe about "he was a great entertainer, he supported the troops, blah, blah, yadda, blah"?

 

But, over at Reflections in D minor, I found someone who found the words for how I feel:

 

----------------

 

So what was it that made Bob Hope one of those special people? He made movies but he wasn't a great actor. He told jokes but he was not the funniest person ever to get up on a stage and tell jokes. All those trips to entertain the troops in WWII, Korea, Vietnam and Gulf War I - every Christmas for years and years and years - must have a lot to do with it. But I think that his personality and humor had a great deal to do with it also. His monologues were full of innuendo but never profanity or indecency; teasing insults but never mean-spiritedness. And there were the eyes - sometimes a look was all he needed to get a laugh.

--------------

 

Bob Hope was subtle. That was his strength. And I don't think there's anyone alive today on the comedy circuit who plays that technique. I don't know if he ever actually made me laugh out loud (and I watched a LOT of his TV specials in the 70's since Dad ran the house, there was only one TV, he liked Hope, end of discussion), but I know he was a class act and I know he at least always made me smile.

 

And I know I feel sadness at his departure.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:44:11 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, Two-Face crushed Batman & Robin into a bloody paste, blew Riddler's head off during a mood swing (hey, he came up tails), overthrew the US government, and issued new currency more suitable to his Empire's theme.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:31:59 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TIME TO VOTE

Frank's got the poll up for Group F. I'm in it. Please go vote now. Don't worry about trying to figure out which one's mine. Just vote for the best entry.

Which is mine ;-)

Polling closes at 7:21am Friday, Central Time, so move fast.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:22:38 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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