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Monday, May 03, 2004
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IMAO T-SHIRT BABE ANNOUNCED
The results have been posted at IMAO.
I didn't vote for the winner, but you probably won't be surprised that everyone else did. You heard it first from Tommy Shaw.
Dare I reveal how I cast my ballots & why?
posted by Harvey at 10:54:29 PM permalink HOME
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KING OF THE BLOGS
ROUND 1 RESULTS
are up at the King of the Blogs home page. In addition to my craptacular blathering, you'll find:
Belief Seeking Understanding's bonus fetish
Susie's "cut to the chase" numerical rankings
Pietro's eloquent & entertaining analysis of the entries
And a complete absense of Mr. Stuffy.
posted by Harvey at 10:47:26 PM permalink HOME
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IRAQ VS. VIET NAM
A top 10 list from America's #1 pin-up girl. I'm partial to #2 myself:
John Kerry got two paper cuts and a stubbed toe last week, and hasn't received a single Purple Heart for his pain and anguish.
posted by Harvey at 9:34:31 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
[notez bien: I'm stealing this one whole from Linus of Pepper of the Earth.
While I never actually put this one in Beloved Wife's little mailbox, I
really like it because it reminds me of Led Zeppelin's "Thank You",
which was the first song I ever dedicated to Beloved Wife - way back
when she had just become Beloved Girlfriend for the first time back in
1986.]
Just Add Water
Ingredients:
1 mountain (large)
1 ocean (immense)
2 lovers (uncertain)
Combine elements in prepared basin.
Mix until smooth.
Season to taste.
When the mountain refluxes
And only sand remains
Remove lovers.
Serving size: 2
Linus Gelber - 11/18/2002
posted by Harvey at 9:27:28 PM permalink HOME
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POP CLASSICAL?
Lynn of Reflections in d minor does some pondering on whether classical can (or even should) have broad popular appeal. I'm indifferent as to the size of classical musics audience, but I don't think it can ever be very large.
The joy of classical music is that it takes a certain amount of
intellectual effort to follow the melody and to take pleasure in the
little tricks the music performs as it progresses from beginning to
end. This means two things - you have to pay attention, and you have to
be smart enough to understand what's going on.
Stupid people, by their nature, are unable to follow the complex
musical theatrics of a classical piece, nor are they likely to enjoy
it, since it's "too much work".
Pop music, and I mean the hackneyed, unimaginative dreck that passes
for top 40 (lookin' YOUR way, Britney) has a skull-smashingly primitive
and regular drum beat, with occasional bits of something vaguely like a
musical instrument plinking out something almost like musical notes in
a random progression that can be called a melody, if you're very
generous with the definition. This kind of music takes no effort. It
clubs the listener over the head, and drags it by the hair back to it's
cave for a bit of quick, yet somehow satisfying, carnal knowledge. All
the listener has to do is lie back and think of England until it's
over. No mental effort need be expended.
It's EASY.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. A little intellectual junk
food is the spice of life, but most people subsist on it. They're
barely aware anything else even exists, and their palates are too jaded
by the pure sugar rush to appreciate the subtle mix of spices that
classical has to offer. Or they would be, if they were born with any
intellectual taste buds at all.
But when you stop to consider that an average person isn't that bright,
and half the people are, by definition, dumber than that, and the first
30% or so above the half-way point aren't that far above (it's a bell
curve, you know), you begin to see that the musical playing field is
not level, the bats are corked, and classical music is out in far left
field with the sun in its eyes and Bartman in the stands.
Which is a shame, because it's good stuff. But until genetic
engineering eliminates stupidity from the human genome, Classical will
have a limited potential audience.
posted by Harvey at 9:19:17 PM permalink HOME
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MILLION TIMES FORWARDED E-MAIL
HILLBILLY BOOT CAMP
LETTER FROM A FARM KID,
NOW AT SAN
DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT.
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope
you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working
for old man Minch by a mile.
Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of
the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in
bed till nearly 6a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.
Tell
Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some
things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash
to mix, wood to split, fire to
lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's
warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal,
eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak,
fried
eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always
sit by the two city boys that live on
coffee. Their food plus yours holds
you till noon when you get fed again.
It's no wonder these city boys
can't walk much. We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says
are long walks to
harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him
different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home.
Then
the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is
nice but awful flat.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a
lot. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and colonels just
ride
around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will
kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I
don't know why. The bulls-eye
is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't
move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you
got to
do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even
load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they
call hand-to hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I
have to be real
careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like
fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in
this
except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him
once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6"
and 130 pounds,
and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and
Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come
stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Gail.
posted by Harvey at 9:14:17 PM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 9/10/2005; 5:00:27 PM.
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MAIN ARCHIVES
CATEGORY ARCHIVES
GRAFFITI CURRENCY
200 WORDS OR LESS
FILTHY LIES
LOVE NOTES
PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR
KING OF THE BLOGS
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