WHAT'S MISSING?
(A FILTHY LIE)
There are a lot of things to see at Instapundit.com,
a spiffy little logo, millions of posts, a 500-yard-long blogroll and
the corpses of blended puppies. But there are some things that are
notably lacking. For instance, he has no comments. Since Glenn Reynolds
is swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of
godhood, it's not surprising that he has no interest in the opinions of
the millions of "little people" who read him daily. The other thing he
doesn't have is a quality "about me" post. Sure, he's got a tiny blurb
about "I wrote this & that wonderfully boring piece of tripe, gaze
upon my works ye mighty and despair", but he really needs something
more personal. So I'm
offering this list of "Fun Facts About Glenn Reynolds" for him to copy
& paste into his sidebar. (Yes, I know "Fun Facts" is Frank J's schtick, but since he never reads me anyway, he'll never know I stole it.)
FUN FACTS ABOUT GLENN REYNOLDS
Glenn got to be the top blogger in the Ecosystem through a series of
carefully targeted assassinations, which explains why you never hear
about JimmyHoffa.com anymore.
Glenn invented reusable toilet paper, which, for some reason, never really caught on.
Except in France.
Before he types them up, Glenn composes all his posts longhand using a penguin-quill pen dipped in puppy blood, and writes on hobo-skin parchment.
Glenn's owns an '88 Yugo with license plate PPBLNDR
Glenn's incredibly thick geek-glasses were originally a gift from a fat
kid who used them to start campfires while stranded on an island with a
group of feral boys.
Glenn's day job is with the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.
Glenn's first web page was actually a Judy Garland fan site.
It was later sold to Andrew Sullivan for an undisclosed sum.
According to Glenn, baby seals "taste just like chicken"
Glenn owns 7 shirts, 7 ties, 7 pairs of pants, 7 pairs of socks, 7
pairs of underwear, 7 sports coats, and 7 pairs of shoes, all exactly
the same. It saves him the trouble of having to decide what to wear on
any given day.
Unfortunately, he keeps grabbing the same set of clothes, much to the dismay of those who have to work with him on Fridays.
Somewhere a portrait of Glenn is magically growing increasingly old and ugly.
Glenn owns a very popular chain of fast food joints in Tennessee called "EvilBurger"
People say the burgers "taste just like chicken."
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
posted by Harvey at 8:37:13 PM permalink HOME
|
|
