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Friday, April 30, 2004
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CAPTIONING GLENN
(A FILTHY LIE)
When you see a picture like that, how can you help but caption it like this?:
Glenn is stoned
and high on drugs
he should learn
to give more hugs
Thorazine
It's just kinda creepy that Glenn only has 3 fingers on each hand like some kind of cartoon character
His gaze fixated on his canine quarry, Glenn SLOOOOOOWLY reached for his Pocket Blend-o-Matic
Every year, Glenn moved his eyebrows further down his forehead. In
2006, he would finally achieve his dream of having the world's bushiest
eyelashes. The Maybelline contract would be his. Yes it would.
Glenn "Shorty" Reynolds proves the old wives' tale about what you can tell about a man from the length of his fingers.
They didn't sell any T-shirts, but sales of Road Kill Possum brand toupees went through the roof.
I... gotta... go... so.. BAD!
Proceeds from the sales of this T-shirt will be donated to the "Buy Glenn a Belt So He Doesn't Have To Hold Up His Pants With His Hands" fund.
"I see dead people"
As the car bore down on him, Glenn just stood in the middle of the road, staring at the pretty headlights.
Glenn Reynolds' entry in the Mr. American Hottie contest, while bringing the gift of laughter to millions, still wound up finishing behind Urkel in a thong.
Glenn says, "Buy this T-shirt and you'll always remember which side is "left".
18 reasons why Glenn, while still a ruthless, puppy-blending, hobo-murdering megalomaniac, isn't ALL bad.
Chekhov called - he wants his hair back.
Having lost most of his fingers in a tragic blogging accident, Glenn sank to T-shirt modeling on his path to rock bottom, finally ending up as a boy toy in a Bangkok brothel.
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
posted by Harvey at 7:38:06 PM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 9/10/2005; 4:40:51 PM.
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