LESSONS FROM TED
(per the Alliance HQ Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
Sure, Ted Kennedy is a bloated turd swimming around the cesspool that
is the Democratic portion of the US Senate, but he's also a great man.
"Great" in the sense of being horrendously large and flabby.
Specifically, his misshapen gargoyle-like head.
Nevertheless, I have learned something from his life, like the fact
that there are exceptions to every rule. Here are some rules Ted proves
by having them not apply to him:
Drunken Irishmen make great friends and are patriotic citizens.
Having affairs will make you the Democratic presidential nominee of choice
Being related to the Governor of California, even if only by marriage, gives you a certain aura of coolness.
Breaking the law repeatedly will land you in jail.
The electorate in your state will not forgive negligent homicide.
A US Senator's ass should not be too wide to fit in his seat.
Lying about the President will get you ClueBatted by patriotic bloggers.
No, wait... forget that last one. There's no exception to that.
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!
posted by Harvey at 7:04:27 PM permalink HOME
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