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  Wednesday, November 26, 2003


MY NEW WORLD ORDER UNLEASHES A CAN O’WUPASS


Ok, you assgoblin anti-war protesters, I’m gonna give you what you always wanted - I’m going to stifle your dissent, just like the tin-foil-hat-wearing panic-mongers have been claiming would always happen under the EEEEEVIL John Ashcroft. The soon-to-be-passed American Sharia laws will unleash cruel and unusual punishments for your unpatriotic displays:


EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, PARTICIPATION IN ANY ANTI-WAR PROTEST ACTIVITY WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT ACCORDING TO THE FOLLOWING SCHEDULE:


First offense: a dirty look


Second offense: a 5 minute “time out”


Third offense: a stern talking-to


Fourth offense: no dessert


Fifth offense: a 10 o’clock curfew


Sixth offense: sent to your room


Seventh offense: loss of cell phone privileges for 2 days


Eighth offense: When I was your age, I respected my elders!


Ninth offense: Are you listening to me?


Tenth offense: Fine! F*** you! You had your chance! – First, we’re gonna handcuff you to this chair and make you listen to Rush Limbaugh for 96 hours straight, then we’re gonna make you bathe WITHOUT using patchouli oil, then you'll get a haircut, a real job, and you WILL start paying rent, young man!


Eleventh offense: Death by Bulunga!

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!


posted by Harvey at 12:20:19 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME





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