Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Hoy estaba loco. No me gusta mucho. Me duele la cabeza. www.freetranslation.com if you don't understand ;) I thought that today would be the perfect day to take a trip with Webster... a trip down definition lane. I am using The New American Webster Handy College Dictionary however, if you would like to, you can follow along (and maybe after you cross reference, make some comments about it) via the online dictionary. ok are you ready?? here we go... so i figured since we're talking about women, i'd start with the most technical definition... wom'an(wum'en) n. [pl.women(wim'en)] 1. an adult human female; a wife; a female attendant. 2. the female sex 3. feminine nature 3. feminine attendant HOLY WHOAH. This is how Webster sees me?? well, maybe not just me, but come on webster- you could have done a little better. Ok, let's break it down. He starts out with a generally correct analysis. I am a) an adult (only by law, not by nature) b) a human and c) female. So basically, I have just been describe by my age, my species and my gender. Good enough for me. BUT THEN, hear me here ladies and gents... not the 2nd definition, but merely a semi-coloned 1rst definition- the 2nd part of the 1rst definition- i mean, only 4 words beyond the word that we are defining here is being defined as: a wife. I am an adult, I am a human, I am a female, I am even a feminist, (we will define feminist tomorrow), but I am not a wife. And I think I can safely say that many... if not most women in college are not wives. So Webster my dear, you have miserably failed on your definition accuracy dude. wife. jeesh. you might as well have called me a homemaker! (No offense Aaron, I will like to be your wife someday...) Moving right along to definition number 1, part 3: A female attendant. WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN?? back to Webster I go despite my already bitter bias towards his 2nd part of the 1rst definition of a woman. I figured since i'd gone so far as to define woman, I might as well define female and attendant. Here we go again... this may take all night- female adj. 1. of the sex bearing young or yielding offspring. 2. feminine. 3. concave for the reception of a fitting part. -n. a female person, animal, or thing. um... right. honestly, if i even started digging into this definition, you may be thinking about clicking that little "X" icon in the top right hand corner pretty darn quick. So all i'll say is that definition 3 and the fact that Webster puts person, animal and thing all next to female makes me a little bit... moving right along... attendant n. one who attends another. ok, so basically, a female attendant is a concave (curved inward) for reception of a fitting part, that being female person, animal or thing which attends another. I'm sorry, but i can safely say that whatever this means or is, I am not it. Any ladies want to agree?? ok. because of the greatly large nature of this blog, I am going to cram definitions 2, 3 and 4 into one big lump. ready go! to reiterate... wom'an(wum'en) n. [pl.women(wim'en)] 1. an adult human female; a wife; a female attendant. 2. the female sex 3. feminine nature 3. feminine attendant ok, so we are a concave (curved inward) for reception of a fitting part anatomically and physiologically distinct as female/ relating to, or like, womanly essence/ relating to, or like, one who attends another. Well, I'm exhausted... and still so not satisfied with my feminine nature/womanhood. CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I AM!!?? ok, so maybeI took this seriously overboard, and I'm not really sure what my point was, but there you go... woman by definition.   5:14:24 PM   comment  []