You know you're from Eastern Washington if...You've never met a celebrity.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
"Vacation" means going to Spokane (or Portland, or Seattle)
You've haven't seen the biggest Country & Western bands until ten years after they were popular.
You measure distance in minutes.
You say pop instead of soda or soft drink.
You know several people who have hit a deer or a cow.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July. (This is a test)
Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the day or year it is.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. (i.e., "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with.")
You know how to pronounce the name of the State.
You know how to pronounce Wenatchee, Yakima, and Spokane.
You know Walla Walla, Washington is a REAL town, not just cartoon!
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You know how to put on chains.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for cattle prices and sports.
You think that opening day of deer season is a national holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly".
You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
You know the city of Pullman is named after a railroad sleeping car.
You traveled through hours of wheat fields or farms to get to the next city.
You know the names of the Tri-cities.
Your home town had more cows than people in it.
You actually get these jokes and forward them to your Eastern Washington friends, some of whom even have e-mail.
