Somewhere in this country, in the 21st century, people are actually debating the physical size of heaven. Seriously. It makes for interesting reading. But the How I Love Jesus crowd doesn't have as much fun, I think, as even the poor regulars of the O.J. Bar & Grill on Amsterdam Avenue have, in the most recent Dortmunder novel from Donald E. Westlake, which I'm reading now:
"What I don't get," said one of them..., "is all these clouds."
A second regular put down his foaming beerglass to say, "Clouds? Which clouds are these?"
"That they're sitting on!" The first regular waved an arm dangerously, but did no damage. "You look at all these pictures, Jesus sitting on a cloud, that other God sitting on a cloud, Mary sitting on a cloud--"
"A little lower down," suggested a third.
"Well, yeah, but the point is, can't Heaven come up with furniture?"
Alas, the How I Love Jesus crowd is no help on the furniture angle.
...let me tell you what I was told last night about the size of the ground floor of Heaven. I was told it is two and a quarter million square miles! One floor. Now the Bible says it is as tall as it is long and wide.
...We talked about mansions and I mentioned some people call them rooms. Our friend said what he lives in here is a room and what he’ll have in Heaven is a mansion.
It sounds as though Heaven will have different stories as in a high-rise. (What a high-rise!)
There will be no need of the sun or the moon because the Glory of God will light the place. We will forever be in the presence of God Almighty! This is what Adam and Eve experienced until they sinned.
Now, how do the clouds fit into the high-rise?
But come to think of it, maybe they're the same, that the How I Love Jesus crowd meets at the O.J. Bar & Grill on Amsterdam after Bible Study, and Westlake is just reproducing what he overheard.
(Via Oh How I Love Jesus.)
11:05:40 AM 
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