licentious radio

Saturday, July 26, 2003
[12:43:19 PM]

"Chickenhawk Dick Cheney's speech was an amalgam of lies, trademark exploitation of the voicless victims of 9/11, sneering accusations of treason against anyone who criticizes the Unelected Fraud's actions, and non-sequiturs regarding the invasion of Iraq." --MediaWhoresOnline.com

[11:53:52 AM]

Come clean on Iraq.

There's an easy way out of Iraq. The sooner we take it, the better.

The problem, of course, is that the way out is 100% incompatible with the Bush junta's goals for Iraq. But the Bushites won't last long if two or three American soldiers get killed every day.

We should split Iraq into three administrative units, with a very loose federation to maintain the name Iraq. An overall constitution has to enforce minority rights, of course.

We should give primary political control to the UN. We should bring in French, Russian, German, and Indian forces to help provide adequate military power to protect the people of Iraq from organized violence. Iraqis could do most of the policing.

Of course we would have to let the UN handle contracting. Halliburton would lose bigtime. We would also have to let the UN manage the oil revenue. Halliburton, Chevron, and BP would lose bigtime. We did, after all, say we wouldn't steal the oil revenue. I suppose Bush didn't even bother to cross his fingers when he said that, but it would probably help the United States' position in the world to follow through on one promise.

When we give up colonial control, the people of Iraq will have every incentive to help crack down on any remaining violence perpetrators.

Unfortunately, having broken Iraq, we would still be on the hook to pay for putting it back together. It would cost less than the current billion dollars per week, but it wouldn't mostly go to Halliburton. A percentage of the American population would be sad about that -- maybe a tenth of one percent.

The deal would also have to include immunity from war crimes prosecution, I'm afraid. This is probably mostly handled already, but when we give up colonial control, a lot of stuff is going to come out. It's pretty clear that the U. S. military under Bush leadership is flagrant in breaking international laws. While I am ready for Bush to pay the price, it needs to be the United States that administers justice.

The problem with this scenario, of course, is that it runs exactly counter to the Bush junta goals. We would give up Iraq as a platform to intimidate Syria and Iran. We would give up control over Iraqi so-called democratic leaders -- the new name for puppet governments. Halliburton would lose tens of billions in revenue, and its easiest money laundering scam for hiding profits from the IRS. The idea that the US can do anything it wants without assistance would be discredited, and it would be clear that Bush's Iraq scheme was the biggest failure since Vietnam.

How can Bush give up Iraq to the UN? But how can he stay in power if three Americans get killed in Iraq every day?

Oddly, the US army isn't big enough to occupy Iraq while maintaining other commitments. Syria and Iran are actually *safer* with US forces tied down and exhausted in Iraq. So The Dimwit can't even take much advantage from the conquest.

It seems unlikely that Rove will be able to fool all the people, all of the time between now and the election. We hope all this means that Bush is toast, but we also hope he does the right thing in Iraq so that fewer Americans will be killed there. We are tired of reading that two or three more American soldiers have been killed.

Bush is the worst president (sic) in history.

[10:22:07 AM]
Media Whore of the Day:

David Kirkpatrick of the New Whore Times.

The Kirkster writes of Hillary Clinton's best-selling book: "It is impossible to know the appeal of any book, perhaps especially one that many critics desribed as a thin, self-serving account of a potentially riveting story."

And the job of a journalist is to...?

Oh, I remember: go find out. It would be like asking some people why they bought the book. What a concept.

The Kirkster also asserts: "Its success was very hard to foresee."

Hmm. Someone paid Senator Clinton eight million bucks. I guess whoever did that foresaw success. The Kirkster then implies that we should be surprised that Clinton's book is vastly outselling books by Reagan and Bush wives.

Maybe the Kirkster isn't a whore. Maybe he's a dimwit. Unfortunately, we at licentious radio don't give out Dimwit-of-the-Day awards. We reserve that title for the Dimwit-in-Chief... the catastrophically inept and vile man whose boots the Kirkster is not qualified to lick.

But congratulations on Whore-of-the-day, David Kirkpatrick. You are a credit to your profession and an infestation to us all.

[10:06:22 AM]
Ironically, a hopeful sign is the "Vietnamization" of the Iraq War. We're going to hire some Iraqis to die instead of Americans. Brilliant.

And why didn't we start out by paying Iraqi soldiers and putting some of them directly into the new Vietnamization militias? Because Wolfie and Rummy are blinded by their beliefs, and The Dimwit is a dimwit.

[9:57:24 AM]
"...what Tony Blair did was not merely hype the case for preemptively invading Iraq. Rather, he deliberately lied to his public about the certainty of his claims to frighten the people into sending their children off to war." --Robert Scheer