Monday, November 1, 2004

Not Blue

Mark Bernstein doesn't have the blues about his blueness. And he, like all of us, is cheering the fact that there is only one more day.


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Turn Green Now

When I was young, when we would pull up to a stoplight, I would look out the window and make the light turn by the sheer force of my will.

When we stopped, I would wait a while and then say to myself, Turn green now!

Sometimes it turned green when I said to.

Tonite I sit here, not in desperation, as I thought I might, but rather with a good feeling about tomorrow. And mind you, this is nothing to be taken lightly. I am not generally known for my upbeat outlook on politics.

Still, I say this: I do not think it will be so close tomorrow.

And I say this with a feeling of some confidence, backed by no data, flying in the face of all those scientific polls, in the face of all the pundits and cognoscenti. I am not with them, tonite. I am on my own.

It is my firm belief that the world will breathe a sigh of relief after tomorrow is counted.

Turn green now!


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Election Eve Football

It was election eve. The pundits were punting. The journalists were hedging. The pollsters were projecting. The anchors were smiling at their cameras. And Trudy was on the computer reading her weblogs.

The dog came into the study and barked at her.

Where's David!? she asked.

The dog barked back at her again.

That's it. Go find the man!

The dog ran out and began to bark loudly from the other room. She got up and followed. When she looked into the living room, the dog was barking and poking his nose under the couch.

Is he under the couch? she asked.

The dog barked particularly loudly. She got down and looked under the couch. There, in the shadows near the wall was a yellow plastic football.

That isn't the man! she complained.

The dog just barked louder.

Ok, she said, and she reached under the couch and retrieved the long lost football.

They never found the man.

I am David, and I approve this story.


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