Adam's Mile High Blog
Adam Swansen's Radio Weblog
Saturday, December 14, 2002

It's that time of year again....Sisters Meg and Anna have a christmas blog to make the shopping, family, and general fuss of this time of year a little bit easier on all of us. The link on the title sends you to what I think is their funniest post yet. (Seriously i was rolling on the floor) Check em out!
9:18:51 PM    comment []

The elusive 3rd Email

Kristin....here's that elusive third e-mail. Did you get it now? How about now?

> From: Adam Swansen <aswansen@insightcomputers.cc>;
> Date: Fri Dec 13, 2002  11:01:02 PM America/Denver
> To: booATbooboolina.com
> Subject: Nipple Piercing
>
> I look at a nipple piercing and say AWESOME! just thought you'd like
> to know.
>
> here,
> adam


9:08:49 PM    comment []

  1. A hoover can only be rolled by an individual sentient entity.

  2. Hoovers can be combined (this is becoming more common thanks to blogging), but the outcome of the roll is always personal. The players may end up as lifetime lovers or dog catchers working on different continents.

  3. It depends.

  4. The rolling of a hoover must be a fully conscious act. Fucking up your life by accident doesn't count.

  5. "The hoover has been rolled" is semantically equivalent to "the die is cast." That is to say, once a hoover has been rolled, it cannot be unrolled.

  6. Play continues until a player declares him or herself to be Hoover Complete. Part of the magic is that this is not a subjective call. For once in your miserable life, you will know.

  7. The karmic consequences of abandoning a hoover in mid-roll are roughly the same as rolling a faux hoover. Either of these recusals from raw reality often end in insanity, incarceration or, in the worst cases, marriage.

  8. A faux hoover consciously enrolled upon invokes all the cosmic terror of a genuine hoover, but confers none of the benefits. In other words, it is far better to fuck up your life accidentally than to pretend that you know what you're doing. It is often difficult, but always crucial, to distinguish between these delusions.

  9. Group rolls are possible but may cause sunspots.

  10. Nested rolls are ill advised, though some have led to happy results. These cannot, however, be discussed in the presence of hoovernewbies, farm animals, or The Wholly Unconscious And Not In The Good Way Either.

  11. Recursive nested rolls are reserved to Holy Rollers of the First Water.

  12. Anyone who has rolled a hoover and is Hoover Complete immediately recognizes others who have achieved a similar state of hooveration. The protocol for such meetings include The Rolling of the Eyes, making The Sign of the Inchoate Narwhal, and The Consuming of the Slim Jims At Adjacent Barstools.

  13. Hosing your hoover is bad. Very bad. While recovery from a hosed hoover is possible, the procedure generally requires the application of neurolinguistic anal probes under deep anesthesia. It is not pretty.

9:04:31 PM    comment []

South American Pigs
Someone suggested that I blog about South American pigs but Google was useless. Oh well...back to the drawing board.
3:17:32 PM    comment []

Someone please remind me to rewind the DVD's that I rented the other night....I need to remember to take them back! I hate late fees. Well off to swim practice. (It's EARLY)
8:34:49 AM    comment []

Late Nights and nipple piercings and numbered emails

It's 3am and Kristin and I are throughly confused about numbered emails, nipple piercings and how freaking tired we are. Let's try this again in the morning.


3:22:05 AM    comment []





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