I've been working long hours lately. It's not been too bad. I guess I'm in the right field. I don't like working long hours, but I don't have to do it often, and I like the push fueled by adrenaline. I think my meditating helps keep me pretty mellow about it all. Last night as I was meditating, I thought "I need a crisis so that I have something to motivate my meditating". Then I realized, my mother is having problems with her recovery from brain surgery, my father-in-law is not doing well, I'm being pressured at work, working with people who are fairly disengaged, with low morale. It was funny. I don't feel stressed out at all, yet from a normal person's point of view, there's plenty in my life to stress me.
Just after that I thought "stop thinking!! watch your breath!", so I stopped musing about how unstressed I felt.
This morning it snowed! I thought how wonderful it is that all last year when I was undergoing cancer treatments and having to drive an hour back and forth every day, it didn't snow. Now, this year, it's starting to snow in October. If I were a Christian I would say that "God" is looking over me. But since I'm buddhist, I'll say "It's beautiful!" As I walked in to the office I looked down. The maple trees had started shedding their leaves, and at my feet were piles of pristine autumn-colored leaves. I grabbed a handful and took them into my office and put them under a heavy notebook.
8:56:29 PM 
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