Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Ten Things I Just Don't Get I don't get lots of things, but these stand out right this moment. 1)  The value of money:  What I mean by this is that I have no clue how currencies go up and down in value in relation to one another.  Why does my dollar buy few euros than it did last week, or even yesterday?  What determines whether it goes up or down? I don't know how this all works, and deep down inside, I know it's a sham. 2)  St. Patrick's Day:  Why the hell do people who clearly aren't Irish give a damn about this holiday?    Did you know that today is Baron Bliss Day in Belize?  Betcha that didn't cause you to wear red today or have a boat race. 3)  How/Why cats purr:  Franklin does it nearly everyday when I come home.  His whole body vibrates as it's going on.  Starts and then eventually stops.  I'm sure it's sexual, but I haven't confronted him about it. 4)  The Billboard singles chart:  Out of the current top 20 singles, if you were to play them for me, I could identify two.  That means I'm either a) getting old, or b) have better tastes in music than people who like those songs.  Of course you could say maybe I just have different tastes than those folks, but I like the sound of better better. 5)  People with internet access who buy porn:  From what I understand (and this is just what others have told me), there's plenty of free porn online.  So then why would anyone go to a pay site and buy it?  Would that make you feel better about yourself?  I'll have to try buying it som... er, I mean those who are into that sort of stuff might want to look into it. 6)  The Middle East:  I'm not trying to stick up for Israel, but how can most of the Middle East hate with such passion a country the size of New Jersey that's been around for almost sixty years? Turn the page already. 7)  People who name their kid after themselves:  Christ, let your kid have his own identity! 8)  People who can't raise kids, yet still keep having them:  I know it sounds rather harsh, but really, if we make people get licenses for driving a car, there should be a license for having kids.  A poorly driven car can only do so much damage.  A poorly raised kid can wreak havoc for decades.  And if someone even hints that you're a lousy parent, just stop having sex, ok?  Better to be safe than sorry. 9)  Carbs:  I honestly don't know if I'm supposed to eat carbs or avoid carbs, and frankly I hate people who think they know. 10)  Smokers:  What can I do to shorten my life, make my hair and breath smell bad, cause me to suffer from hacking coughs, and turn my face to leather?  7:02:47 PM     |

Pretty Much 6:01:16 PM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.