My neighbor stopped by earlier in the week. He just wanted to talk. He'd run into someone recently who knows me. This person had some good things to say about me. It seems that this is someone from my long-ago past, going back to my senior year in High School. The problem was that my neighbor just couldn't remember a name.

I guess that you should know a little bit more about this neighbor before I finish my story. He's the kind of guy that is just plain nice. I don't mean that as a compliment or a putdown. It's just a fact. He never has anything bad to say about anyone or anything. He is so nice that he comes off as a bit of a phony. At least that's how I see it. Not that he is a phony. It just feels like he's less than sincere. Perhaps I'd feel better if every once in a while he'd break the facade and say something mean.

Well, this problem of not remembering who he'd talked to and just who this was really bugged him. He asked me to try and think of who it might be. Who had I kept in touch with over the past nearly 30 years? Who might know something about my character? He spent a good 15 minutes trying to jog my memory. He really wanted me to come up with some names. I didn't.

His whole premise bugged me. Just because someone had something good to say seemed to impress him. I found myself wondering what would have happened if he had run into someone who shared less than complimentary thoughts about me? There are undoubtedly some who don't like me. I don't live my life trying to be liked. I certainly don't have any illusions about being universally liked.

No, what impressed me was the person who had known me. Here was someone who could say anything about me and chose to say something nice. I have reflected on this conversation several times. That a person would be complimentary of me says more about that person than it does about me. Something along the lines of what my mom used to drill into my brain. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

I sort of now wish that I knew who it was that my neighbor talked with. Not because it means anything to me about me. I am who I am, regardless of what others think. But to know someone who is kind enough to be kind after all these years and without me in the room. That must be a nice person, don't you think? Ironic!............
11:38:34 PM    comment []