Just look at all the ground broken, on this site alone, since the war began:
--I was the first writer, by nearly 20 seconds, to declare the anti-war movement completely bankrupt because of the stupid actions of a small radical fringe group in San Francisco. Subsuquently, I beat everyone to the gym by accurately suggesting that American combat deaths are quite possibly the fault of anti-war protesters.
--Yesterday, no one else dared touch the story that the Turks may be whipping up sandstorms to help the Russians secretly funnel weapons to Saddam Hussein.
--As far back as last October, I was calling Jacques Chirac "the Rasputin Of The Seine, with halitosis." Imagine my non-surprise, then, when the French newspaper Le Monde reported over the weekend that Chirac is seeing a breath doctor. In Bergen-Belsen!
--Why, I ask you, haven't the mainstream media been providing us with a line-by-line analysis of every single one of Tony Blair's speeches? Because they know I did it first.
--Last Friday, I wrote that Saddam Hussein had done something bad to someone at some time in the past, and that the time for debate was over. This is war, I said. Our enemies can do no right, and we no wrong. Except for Shepherd Smith, the lack of moral courage on the part of journalists continues to stun me.
--At 1:37 PM yesterday, I reported, just by guessing, that Iraqis weren't fighting by traditional rules of war. "They may use dogs as human shields," I wrote. Sure enough, I was more or less correct, and by the end of the afternoon, my scoop had roared across the globe like a cartoon jet that turns into an eagle.
--Finally, only I am able to say, without qualms or even evidence, that the Iraqis are savage ape-monsters who don't understand law, hygiene, and, in many cases, English.
There you have it, my Beagles. Blogs. The new newspapers. You read it here first. Or at least I hope you did.
