Sunday, December 07, 2003

DVD Review: Together - 4 stars This Chinese film (with English subtitles) is about a boy and his father, both from the countryside. The boy has played the violin from an early age, winning local competitions easily. His father decides to take him to Beijing to study and make a great career. The story is about their relationship, their relationships with a young woman, the father's sacrifices and ambitions, and most of all, about the relationship between music and love. It's this theme - the relationship between music and love - that especially attracts me to the film. It's a beautiful film, with vivid, unforgettable characters. And the music soars! I'm sure I'll want to see this many times again. Recommended most highly - 4 stars. 8:16:26 PM    comment []

Giving Up on Art? A kind and concerned reader made a thoughtful comment on the post I made on Giving Up. I had wondered after I posted that message, if I should have clarified that the "overwhelming project" I was giving up was a computer database project for a client, not an art project. (Although giving up an overwhelming art project would also be OK.) Anyway, I don't associate giving up effortful living, with giving up making art. The reverse is true. Effortless art is very appealing! Friends have often told me I seem to fear things being too easy. In that case, do they mean anything? They don't count towards earning a place in life if they're "too easy." What I'm giving up, I hope, is the effort to earn a place in life. Why not accept life as a gift? This is not the first time I've said that I intend to accept life as a gift. I've said that, then slipped back into trying hard to earn it. So we'll see what happens here. If I find myself trying hard to accept life as a gift, that's just another way to manipulate myself. Art that comes from effortful living, from self manipulation or an attempt to manipulate others, lacks something that I believe is essential. There's an energy, a spiritual force, that's missing. So "effortless art" can be much more meaningful - to me at least. 11:00:06 AM    comment []

Dream Interpretation: Stirring up the less powerful Last night I dreamed I was in some kind of art group that evolved into a workshop or course. The teacher was a big bear of a man, enigmatic and demanding. At one point we were running through the dark. I was running after him because I wanted to learn more. He told me to be careful not to stir up any powerful institution - instead to stir up the less powerful. I thought of situtations I'd observed, and past mistakes of my own, that seemed to prove his point. Later, our final "paper" in the workshop was to tell "how to act" in words or images. Commentary: Waking, it seemed to me that this applies to parts of myself. Some parts of myself are "powerful institutions" while others are less powerful. The dream suggests that I place my attention on the parts of myself that are less powerful - and "stir them up." So my first task is to ask myself: what parts of me are least powerful? Hmm. "The meek shall inherit the earth." Maybe that makes sense after all.  9:28:30 AM    comment []

Dream Interpretation: witness stabbing This is one of the dreams that gave me the message to "give up" and live effortlessly. In the dream, I'm walking in a vast park, very green and shady, but dimly lit. I seem to be clearing a path as I go. I finally recognize that I'm approaching a crossroads, or rather, a dead end that meets a crossroads, forming a T. The road that crosses the path I'm on, seems to go toward a brightly lit town to the right, and off into more woods on the left. Towards the left, it's very muddy, with soft ruts up to two feet deep. There's even a pool across the road. I decide to turn back and retrace my steps. As I turn to walk back, a figure comes over the horizon, running. Another follows. I watch with some curiosity as they approach me. As the two runners get very near, the one in front turns and stabs the one following him, with a knife. I stand shocked. The second man falls to the ground, apparently dead. The man who stabbed him looks over at me. I see that he's thinking he'll have to kill me too, because I witnessed this. I start to run but he stabs me right in the middle of my chest. Somehow I manage to stab him back. Apparently I kill him. I rush over toward the town lights. Magically, I find myself by a phone. Someone is already calling for help, but keeps getting off onto other topics. I keep asking "I need help, I've been stabbed!" Finally I realize that I'm going to be all right. If I'd been stabbed to death I'd be dead by now. I relax and decide I'm OK. Commentary: The stabbing in my chest, I associate with the tightness in my chest that I've experienced in past weeks off an on - plus the "stabbing pain" that I've sometimes had in the center or right side of my chest. So this dream catches my attention right away. Is it explaining why I've been having this pain? The first runner seems to be stabbing the second runner in order to keep first place, to win the race. Aha. I've been feeling that I'm running a race. I've often complained of this feeling. I'm in a race to earn money fast enough to pay bills, pay my expenses. I'm in a race to take "first place" slides fast enough to enter my new bowls in an exhibit. Etc. I've been running some kind of race all my life, from the elementary school races to earn straight A grades, to graduate school, on and on. So right away, on waking, it seems clear that it's the racing, the firstborn's obsession with being first, being best, that it causing the stabbing pains. I could witness this - become conscious of it - and give it up and be OK. My Dream Producer seems to be suggesting this. Now that I'm writing the dream again, I notice the crossroads more. The pool and mud to the left suggests going deeper into feelings. The brightly lit town (a convenience store maybe?) suggests what? Help from other people? In the dream I get the illusion that someone is helping, but they don't really pay any attention to me. Instead, I realize that I'm OK without the help. I'll think some more about this. 9:09:10 AM    comment []