DANCING FOOL
(A FILTHY LIE)
A long time ago, Frank posted a filthy lie that Evil White Glenn was a commie who does the Robot Dance. I noticed Evil Glenn never talked about this, which made me very suspicious, so I called him about it...
Harv: So, Evil Glenn, is it true that you're a commie?
Evil Glenn: Oh yeah. Stalin's my hero. He oppressed millions of people for years. Currently I'm only oppressing about 74,488 per day, but it all adds up.
Harv: Any other heroes?
Evil Glenn: Howard Dean's ok. Even though he's only a socialist right now, I expect Presidential power would soon corrupt him into tearing up the Constitution and declaring himself absolute Commie dictator. That would be SO cool! I just hope Frank J. doesn't start punching him before that can happen.
Harv: I see. So what about the Robot Dance thing.
Evil Glenn: Not entirely true. It's really just a side effect.
Harv: Side effect?
Evil Glenn: From the spiders.
Harv: ...Spiders?
Evil Glenn: Yeah. I enjoy putting spiders in my underwear.
Harv: Geez, man. You've GOTTA stop watching Fear Factor.
Evil Glenn: You don't know what you're missing. I stuff a handful of spiders in my Jockeys and then all those tiny little legs start tickling my nether regions... WHOOO-HOOO! Stimulating!
Harv: Uh, yeah... but don't they, well, you know, bite, uh... sensitive areas?
Evil Glenn: Sure they do. And it makes my crotch swell up like a kielbasa. Afterwards, I hit the disco and do some Robot Dancing. I tell ya, the ladies just can't stop gawking at my loins.
Harv: So you're at the disco now?
Evil Glenn: Sure am! And... oh crap, they're playing Copacabana. I have to go obey my subliminal implants and blend a puppy. Oppress you later! [click]
Harv: Vile subhuman scumbag!
[RING RING]
Harv: Hello?
Evil Glenn: Lawyer. [click]
Harv: ARRRGGHHH!
So, yes, Evil Glenn is a communist, and he DOES do the Robot Dance, but only because he puts spiders in his underwear. Save the spiders!
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
posted by Harvey at 5:39:54 PM permalink HOME
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