*** out of time, uploaded, but not edited, will edit later ***
I keep replaying a fragment of a scene I saw on the evening news the other day. A young man, appearing to be in his early-mid twenties was being arraigned in court, I believe on murder charges. What touched me about the scene, was the young man sobbing in court because none of his relatives were present. As I recalled, he said to the judge, I just want somebody to be here with me, my momma, somebody.
Eric Berne, the psychologist who developed the psychological model "Transaction Analysis" posits that as we grow up, we record feelings just as we record facts. He further posited that we relive these feelings when placed in an analogous situation, just as we would replay 4 in response to 2+2. The result of these recorded feelings, according to Berne, is that in every person there is a "Parent", an "Adult" and a "Child". Seeing this young man feeling alone and frighten, hoping only for the comfort of someone who cares for him reminded me of this model. RhbNote: I have found this model to be quite useful for the last 30 or more years.
I don't know enough about the families' situation and why no one was in court to judge them, nor can anyone ever know enough to judge them. Nor, do I know if this young man committed the act he is being accused of; nor can we ever know enough to judge anything but his obligation under the law. But if this is indicative of his life experience, I can't help wonder, did that young man ever have a chance to turn out differently.
Contrast this to a friend of mine had what appeared to be everything, loving parents, material comfort, who was raised with religion and values. Yet, who none-the-less, sometime back became involved with drugs; and took to living on the streets.
He and his parents would argue when they saw each other; and it broke their hearts to see him like that. But even so, once a week, they would set out a meal for him, clean clothes and I believe a small sum of money; and leave the house so that he could come and shower, have a hot meal and a clean set of clothes. They never stopped loving him or being there for him.
I know of others, all over the social, economic and religious or philosophical map; some whose lives turned out better than one would expect; some who lives turned out worst.
I especially wonder about those whose lives did not live up to the great potential of being a human being, the wasting of human potential is a tragedy. In each case, I don't know enough to understand; and not understanding, I don't know enough to judge. In each case I feel sadness.
There are many lessons here: but the most important one I can't discern: Why did things turn out this way? And, as a practical matter, what could have made a real difference?
11:26:49 PM 
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