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Tuesday, September 14, 2004


In an article about President Bush's new lead in the poles apparent, Joshua Micah Marshall suggests that Kerry's campaign is correct to keep us in the dark about his plans to deal with the Iraq War. Marshall believes that there are no good solutions to the war. Well, any that Kerry can talk about anyway.

But I can. Some solutions would be better than others:

  1. We could continue to keep the war out of the news, pretend it's somebody elses problem until such time as we start to notice all the dead people. There was a self immoltion last week, on the part of a berieved father upon learning of his Marine son's death. But that sort of thing just doesn't carry the impact it once did. I blame ... either rap music or Hollywood.

  2. Or we could put a puppet in place, but limit his power and let the political unrest in Iraq unseat him quickly (and hopefully bloodlessly) and replace him with their government of choice. Ok, it'll be bloody. But hopefully quick.

  3. We hand over power to a popular religous leader. You know, Sistani. The guy thay haulled back from heart surgery in London to get Sadr to move out of the temple (so we wouldn't have to bomb it to oblivion.) Then we bug out and it's his problem.

  4. Proceed with early '05 elections and cajole - no, beg, the UN to take over peace-keeping duties. Too bad this would mean that a few infra-petro-structure contracts won't be self-awarded. Yeah, like that could happen.

  5. Free land for Palistinian settlers. We'd have to give them Kuwait as well, but I'm sure that could be arranged. (It is, after all, an Iraqi state according to many of the Iraqi officials we now support.)

  6. And finally, a solution I really, really hope does not come to pass, we could support the nuclear development programs of both the Iranian and Israeli governments. Pakistan too, they deserve some, for being such staunch allies in the (seperate, and not quite equal) War on Terror. What the hay, India, Turkey... anybody else want in?

    Then we retreat to the opposite hemisphere.

Thanks for the link, Dave. Yeah: change it back to Pacific time, ... uh, dude.


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