Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Letterman's Top Ten Questions Asked By Saddam Hussein When He Was Captured:

10. "Be honest...have you ever seen a nicer spider hole than this?"

9. "Who's got a coat hanger -- this beard itches like a son of a bitch!"

8. "Anyone have a mint?"

7. "Is this about the illegal music downloads?"

6. "Am I going to be on 'Cops'?"

5. "Which describes me better right now -- 'haggard' or 'grizzled'?"

4. "How did you get past my impenetrable styrofoam brick?"

3. "Do I get the 25-million-dollar reward?"

2. "How's the war going?"

1. "Will you go easy on me if I tell you where Martha Stewart is hiding?"

4:54:07 PM    comment []

From a Hewlett-Packard employee: "The lab I was working for in Texas was shut down, with half the folks given walking papers...I'm betting that 50% of the work here in Fort Collins will get moved to India or China in the next year or so."

4:37:07 PM    comment []

Audio files of the WUNC radio show about political action on the Internet have been posted here, featuring Zephyr Teachout, Ruby Sinreich, and me, along with host Melinda Penkava and some callers. If you are running a political campaign, or thinking of running a political campaign, or interested in political campaigns, it's worth listening to.

9:02:40 AM    comment []

Three murders in just over 24 hours in Greensboro, a triple homicide in High Point.
So which Guilford County city gets the tabloid prize? Greensboro, for the involvement of a woman named Ultraviolet Sampson.

8:51:47 AM    comment []

"Be sure to marry someone who watched the same amount of TV that you did as a kid -- that way you'll have something to talk about when you get old." That's what Lisa told Sydney last night at dinner.

Lisa and I were singing the zip code for Zoom ("oh, two wunn, three fourr"), a terrible kids show that we watched, hundreds of miles apart, a generation ago. Zoom was a show I knew was bad. I watched it anyway, we only got four channels, just as I watched Davey and Goliath on Sunday mornings, because nothing else was on but preachin'.

We watched other bad shows, like The Brady Bunch, but they were slick and on network TV, and I felt weird for thinking they were bad, because everyone else seemed to like them, and it wasn't until I got older that I realized that everyone else knew they were bad, too.

But Zoom was bad bad, so bad I think I once quit watching and picked up a book. I told Sydney it was something like All That on Nickelodeon, but with lower production values and a crunchy public television vibe. She looked at us with pity.

Then I called my sister-in-law Sue in Colorado and when she picked up the phone I asked her to sing the zip code for Zoom. No hesitation: "oh, two wunn, three fourr." Lisa and I were laughing so hard I almost blew Chateauneuf du Pape out my nose.

Just another high-brow evening at the salon that is our dinner table.

8:32:38 AM    comment []