Googlevote Its Election Day and you haven't been paying attention. Well that's okay, its only midterm elections and you can make it up on the final. But just in case you haven't formulated your own opinions, you can easily Googlevote your decisions with the following steps.
First, Googlefight the two candidates. In Gray Davis vs. Bill Simon for California's governor, it picks Bill Simon as the hands down winner. But if you think this is simply a case of "no such thing as bad press," skip to step two. If you can't remember the name of the other candidate, say facing Jeb Bush in Florida, Googlefight him against "the other guy." It's clear you should vote for "the other guy." This first step will ensure you don't give your vote away to a less popular candidate, however, to really understand what people are saying about the candidates, skip to step two.
Second, Googlism each candidate's name. Here you will learn such critical matters such as "Gray Davis is sweet and speed" and such conspiracy theories as "Gray Davis is busily throwing your tax dollars away on his secret electricity." You will also learn that Bill Simon is "just the man" and "the Gordon Gekko of his generation." But if the answers don't satisfy you, you can always Googlism "the other guy." If you are still unsatisfied, go to step three.
Third, Google Images the candidates. Perception matters and you don't want to elect the ugly candidate.
Fourth, Google News the candidates and research the issues. Maybe your opinions actually matter. In this election, your vote counts more than a member of the electoral college. And the issues matter -- especially if you live in Nevada. There you can vote to legalize maraijuana and spark a revolution in property rights. The property rights issue especially pertains to those enriched Silicon Valley tech execs who chose political exit to Tahoe for tax avoidance, where a referendum would make local governments compensate property owners for environmentally friendly zoning laws that decrease their property value (nevermind the total social costs, I guess).
On the otherhand, Googlefighting the issues already reveals that the Republicans may have won the election so you can go on being your apathetic self:
8:59:50 AM
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