Here's some down-under humor courtesy of the Langalist newsletter:
These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian
Tourism Website - a Melbourne University Tourism Studies Major
working in the summer holidays answered....
1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen
it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A: We import
all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A:
Depends how much you've been drinking
3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand
miles, take lots of water...
4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?
(Sweden) A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of
places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy) A: Let's not
touch this one.
6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you
send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and
Hervey Bay? (UK) A: What, did your last slave die of?
7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia?(USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped
continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in
the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.
Come naked.
8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face
south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: Why? Just
use your fingers like we do.
10.Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-
y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays
every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo
races. Come naked.
7:27:42 AM 
