Friday, May 02, 2003

HONDO'S KENTUCKY DERBY PICKS It seems like it was just winter. Well, it was around here, despite what the calendar says. And it looks like it’s going to be a long woeful spring with the Knicks eliminated from the NBA playoffs and the Rangers watching the Stanley Cup playoffs from the sidelines. At least we’ve still got the Yankees (don’t dare mention the Mets in this house) and it’s time for THE KENTUCKY DERBY, the only horse race that really matters to the casual sports fan. Forget the Breeder’s Cup and the Belmont (unless the Derby winner happened to win the Preakness too). This one’s for the big prize. It’s when the Kentucky Colonels come out in full force. Not the KFC guy, the real Colonels, like the ones the good doctor described in The Great Shark Hunt: Steadman wanted to see some Kentucky Colonels, but he wasn't sure what they looked like. I told him to go back to the clubhouse men's rooms and look for men in white linen suits vomiting in the urinals. "They'll usually have large brown whiskey stains on the front of their suits," I said. "But watch the shoes, that's the tip-off. Most of them manage to avoid vomiting on their own clothes, but they never miss their shoes." I wish the field were better and unfortunately it looks like we don’t have the good doctor’s sage advice as he is preoccupied with other matters. It looks like Empire Maker is clearly the horse to beat in this field, unless you consider how the Derby seems to inevitably jinx most of the favorites. I’m still hurtin’ from a 16-1 shot named Dust Commander in the 1970 Derby. OK, so my Dad placed the bet. Doesn’t it matter that I had an emotional investment? Anyway, there’s no money to be made in betting 6-5 odds, so the real interest is in place and show, as well as more exotic bets. It’s always fun to bet a long shot on the side, just for the hell of it. Anyway, I'd said I publish my bets for the world to see and here they are: Money Bet: Like I said, there’s no money to be made with Empire Maker so Hondo’s going with Peace Rules, currently 8-1 out of the #5 slot, to win and to show. He won the Louisiana Derby and the Blue Grass Stakes though some, including his owner, Bobby Frankel (who owns the favorite Empire Builder), question his ability to handle the Derby distance. Long Shot Bet: Scrimshaw, at 50-1 out of the 17 slot to show or Indian Express at 12-1 out of the 9 to win and show? Ah, decisions, decisions. Against my better judgment I’ll go with Scrimshaw, which saves Indian Express for Hondo’s . . . Trifecta: 1. Empire Maker 2. Peace Rules 3. Indian Express Let’s see if I wimp out and box the Trifecta. Well, there they are. I expect to be turning in my resignation and moving to Maui on Monday. But now, I think I'll kick back and enjoy a mint julep. File under From The Sports Desk. 8:02:33 PM    Go ahead, make my day  []