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Samstag, 12. April 2003

Moralisches Dilemma

Die folgenden Fragen sollen Ihre Einstellung zu Moral und Humanit[per thou]t testen.
Stellen Sie sich folgende Situation vor:

Sie sind als Photoreporter f[cedilla]r CNN in Washington, inmitten des Chaos nach einem Terrorangriff. Sie stehen vor dem Wei[fl]en Haus und sehen pl[^]tzlich den hilflosen Pr[per thou]sidenten der Vereinigten Staaten, bedroht von einem schwerbewaffneten, schnauzb[per thou]rtigen Terroristen, der auf ihn zielt. Sie haben zwei M[^]glichkeiten:

1. Sie rufen mit Ihrem Handy das FBI, die CIA und den Sicherheitsdienst, um den gew[per thou]hlten und tapferen Pr[per thou]sidenten der USA zu retten
2. Sie machen ein Photo, das Ihnen den Purlitzerpreis einbringen und weltweit in jeder Zeitung zu sehen sein wird

Basierend auf Ihren ethischen und moralischen Prinzipien und den internationalen Regeln der Humanit[per thou]t, entscheiden Sie sich jetzt: w[cedilla]rden Sie ein Farbfoto oder ein Schwarzweiss-Foto machen?

Aus dem Franz[^]sischen ins Englische und dann ins Deutsche [cedilla]bersetzt

[via ITW]

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5:33:00 PM

Heute Morgen in Bagdad

Four men enter the Coalition Forces Police Recruiting InfoPoint in central Bagdad.

Recruiter:
So you guys want to join the glorious Coalition Police Forces, eh? You there... in front... your looks strike me as familiar... You haven't done something with your moustache lately, have you? What's your name?

Man #1:
Sa... eh... Too complicated. Just call me "Joe". We Arabs all look the same, anyway. At least to master race Americans like yourself. Don't you think?

Recruiter:
Well, Joe, do you have any experience in military or police work? You guys already have uniforms, I see.

Man #1:
We all have been in the, hm, policing business for quite a while. Our specialities are contingency management and calming down riots and insurgencies. Ali, eh, "Bob" here is a specialist in calming down urban uprisings. My two sons here, eh, "Jeff" and "Fred" were practically raised within the enforcement business.

Recruiter:
Yeah... Your references are quite impressive... Muffling riots in Kurdistan, I see... Just what we need right now. Your sons, you say?

Man #1:
You see, Sir, in primitive arabic cultures like ours, nepotism is the game to play.

Recruiter:
Why. Ha, ha, ha! Exactly. You don't happen to be islamic extremists, by any chance?

Man #1:
Absolutely not! I swear! I always supported US policy against islamic extremists of any flavour. Any Shi'ite still alive will tell you that. I even once had the chance to shake hands with Donald Rumsfeld. Great guy.

Recruiter:
Yeah. A fine man. You owe him your liberation.

Man #1:
(Somehow surly) We know. Hooray!

Recruiter:
We still need men for protecting Saddams palaces. Do you know them?

Man #1:
Like they were my own. Ouch! Fuck off, Uday, eh, "Fred"!

Recruiter:
Ha! Ha! Ha! You guys are funny. Sort of Iraqi stooges. I like your sense of irony. But where do I know you from. I know I've seen your face before somewhere...

Man #1:
Well, to be honest, I've once been modelling for the local "Ugly Hats and Guns" corporation. They've put up posters of me and their products all over the place. I didn't mention it right away because modelling isn't exactly considered to be a manly activity in our culture.

Recruiter:
Ha! Neither in ours!

Man #1:
See! Well, I was young and I needed the bakshish. But I'm sure that it won't afflict our professionalism. We are all highly motivated, Sir. Geared up and ready to clean up the mess. All within the democratic and civilized spectrum of Coalition Forces measures, of course.

Recruiter:
Just kidding. I like your style, guys. Joe, Bob, Fred and Jeff, you're in!

All:
Hooray!

Man #1:
Thank you, sir!

Recruiter:
Just one more thing: Would you change the uniforms you're wearing against those sponsored bullet-proof Coca Cola Corporation Happy Law Enforcer's Shirts? I know it's ridiculous, but it's better than those ugly McCombat fatigues they've been giving to the Peshmerga.

"Bob":
There soon won't be any more problems with the Peshmerga. I promise.

Recruiter:
Very well, Bob. See ya later.

The Men:
See ya later! Out, giggling.

Recruiter:
So... Who's next on the list... Mr. Bob Laden? Do take a seat, please!
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5:20:09 PM