I haven't dreamed in months which is really bothering me because when I dream, I'm creative. I have this complete block in my dream pattern and I also feel like I haven't gotten a whole lot of sleep lately. I haven't been relaxed in a few months either and last night I had the most bizarre dream, actually it freaked me out and I woke up and its not the kind of dream I want to have. The dream...........
This government guy was in my house and he had a warrant to confiscate all sexual paraphernalia in the house. My mom was here, Zy was here, my employees were here and my mom kept telling what's the problem, let him search you have nothing to hide and I was freaked out. He took all the condoms, all the lubes, all the toys, he even took stuff out of T's purse and then he took the movies and all the time, my mom was innocently saying, what's wrong with you, its ok as he searched room by room in all the drawers, in the kitchen cabinets, in the bathroom cabinets, under the bed. And then he wanted to search the computer....that's when I woke up
So I know what the movies thing is about, my mom, omg, my mom unpacked all my DVDs and Music and put them away and I had completely utterly forgot about a couple of movies that I had and hopefully she didn't read the titles.
Zy says the dream is my subconscious telling me someone is in my space and that I'm not relaxed and I need to get her out of here - she's right, I do. Its terrible but I'm thinking that trying to grow this business is the wrong thing to do right now and the more and more I think about it, the more and more I get stressed and smoke these stupid cigarettes. Even if I could get her out of the house would help but I don't think that will do the trick. I've gained weight, I smoke more, I'm more stressed and I haven't relaxed in the last couple of months trying to make enough money to pay my employees plus she's here when I wake up, its driving me nuts
11:46:12 PM 
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