Brits out of tune in Europe
Last night was the annual extravaganza called the Eurovision Song Contest. 26 countries competed in the live broadcast from Latvia. I tuned in to see the opening sequence (professional interest, you understand) but I got bored after 6 minutes so I mercifully missed the rest of it.
Once upon a time, Britain used to do quite well in this event, but not any more. For the first time in the 48 year history of the contest, Britain scored 'nul points.' Apparently, according to those who endured the programme, the British duo Jemini performed badly and sang out of tune. Some would say that symbolises the British attitude to Europe very well.
So, humiliation for a nation that for a few years in the 1960's was the pop music capital of the world. How are the mighty fallen! But far more entertaining than the contest was the unsporting reaction of some Brits to the result. Apparently Terry Wogan, who for years has poked fun mercilessly at the event despite being paid a handsome fee by the BBC for commentating on it, blamed the 'Iraq factor'. A guy who phoned BBC Radio 5 Live declared that Europeans were 'just a bunch of clowns.' At that point, I switched off.
Now, under the rules introduced a few years ago, countries which do badly have to skip a year to allow others to take their place. And to learn to sing in tune, presumably. Apparently Britain, France and Germany are exempt from this rule because they pay a substantial part of the EBU's budget. So that's fair, is it? By virtue of being big and wealthy you can buy your way into a contest at the expense of smaller and less well-off nations. I don't blame the EBU for this. No doubt the Brits, French and Germans threatened to withdraw funding if they were not exempt. But, while you can buy participation, you can't - as last night demonstrated - buy votes.
As it happens - and, to be fair, this had already been announced on Thursday - the rules are changing so that from next year there will be a qualifying round, and a grand final involving 24 countries. That way, says the European Broadcasting Union, 40 countries can take part. So Britain, like all the other countries, will have to go through a qualifying round! What will happen if they don't end up in the top 24? That remains to be seen, unless some other obscure clause has already been inserted in the rules.
Terry Wogan always used to make fun of countries that didn't get any points at the contest, and make jokes about it on his BBC Radio 2 Breakfast Show the following week. I wonder what he'll do now? I know one thing. There will have been a lot of European broadcasters sniggering over their coffee and croissants this morning. Wogan's frivolous attitude didn't go down well amongst some of his colleagues this side of the North Sea. Last night, he got his just desserts.
1:52:48 PM 
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