Thursday, August 12, 2004

I had a need to write for a few minutes...but I didn't feel like fixing tense-shifts and all that jazz.... ---------------- The little girl stood at the foot of the stairs swirling her bare toes through bits of dust collected on the hardwood floors.  She knew what she had to do.  Her mind was spinning with data and her fingers were mimicking those fast thoughts by circling the post that wasn’t exactly inviting her up past its entrance to the upward steps.  She knew what was at the top.  She knew she had to go.  That knowledge didn’t pull her.  Rather her nervous body felt quite grounded and content to stay and hold the nerves in place.  Here she knew where she was rather than crossing over to check on her expectations.    One foot up.  Suspended here she could feel like she was about to fly…as soon as she could figure out how to lift the stepping foot to join the suspended foot in motion.  Not that she was forgetting the task at hand.  How could she?  She knew they’d be here any minute.  So, she brought her Wonder Woman foot down, took a deep breath in and started a quicker pace up the stairs.    A sugar-bee circled around her and she swatted it away from her sticky face.  It didn’t look like it was going to give up quickly, but it gave her 15 seconds of distraction to remove her mind from her task at hand.  The thing about the sugar bees is you don’t want to actually hit them and catch their stinger.  Finally it gave up and attacked a spot on the end-table downstairs where her tea was leaving a nice water-ring.   Reaching the door at the top of the stairs she bit her lip, twisted the knob and pushed the door open.  The motion sent a quick ripple of air through the room, sending her curtains up.  She let her eyes hit the rug for a moment before looking at her goal.  When she finally looked at the doll, her eyes instantly filled, but she was committed to holding the tears in place.    This doll….this doll had shared her daydreams and tea parties and swings and walks.  This doll had listened to her stories about her day and her simple play-thoughts.  This doll had been okay with being squeezed too hard when her feelings were hurt.  This doll had always been there.  But, she had told her Grandma that she’d give her to a little girl who needed a doll.  She didn’t need this doll anymore – she’s a big girl now.  She has friends to talk and play with.  She can resist the tears.  She doesn’t have time for tea parties.    She ran her fingers first over the smooth face.  Then she patted down the curls and straightened the dress.  She picked her up and held her tightly to her chest.  She closed her eyes and cataloged the memory. ..she might need this memory one day.  Three tears slid down her face.  She hadn’t realized she released them until she tasted their salt.  Enough.  It’s just a doll.  This is not her childhood.      Comments9:42:11 PM

This is cool and pretty.  The votemaster: Comments8:29:08 PM

I can't remember if I posted a link to this before, but I'm cleaning out my NewsGator folders and read it again and it made me feel all pretty again.  You know..'cause it says things like: I remember a long time ago when I was where you wanted to be, and you were where I wanted to be. We ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of where you want to be. We tasted and knew that it was good. This was knowledge. It was the knowing of a thing, and we knew it. We knew where we wanted to be. and also like The saddest things are the ones that can be forever lost but never forgotten, like precious rings and love and faith and innocence and play. and ends with: I am waiting and wanting. I do not want to sink down into the place where the roots are. I do not want to be where I can never be found. It's lovely... Comments8:27:21 PM

So, I'm thinking of taking myself on a holiday/birthday trip to Costa Rica.  I've never been, so I'm open to suggestions.  Cheaps are SUPER cheap from DC.  I might move there eventually... Comments8:19:41 PM

So, one of the debates in my mind this week is:  how important is money.  GREAT article that's disucssing what actually makes us happy...not a big house or fancy car or 500-million gadgets.  I work with a quite-the-contrast-from-me coworker right now and this has really driven the point home to me.  He lives in a huge house with seven tv's and blah, blah, blah, blah (yeah, i didn't ask either).  I live in a little apartment with a 19 inch tv.  All I gotta say is that our morning conversations go like this: boy:  how'z it going? me:  great!  how're you? boy:  life sucks No joke...I'm totally going to live to 94.5.  Yes, I just made that up. Comments8:17:48 PM

Advice from Bezos -- Hire very carefully -- you're creating an enduring culture. Be stubborn and flexible. Obsess about customers, not colleagues. Know when to throw away the org chart. Get good advice -- and ignore it. Don't chase the quick buck. Communication is terrible. Take leaps of faith. Be simpleminded. Add up lots of little advantages.  Comments8:09:07 PM

Dan Gillmor pointed to this interesting site:  Meta-Efficient points to ways to live your life using up fewer resources -- doing right by the planet, and yourself. Comments8:04:48 PM

The American Civil Liberties Union has created a clever animation about how personal data is spreading via linked databases to create the most detailed dossiers on all of us. The scenario, a call to a pizza-delivery service, is exaggerated. But it's clearly the direction in which we're heading. The ACLU offers specific suggestions on how to slow this rampaging privacy invasion. Take action! Note:  Wired also ran an interesting article on this.  Comments8:02:52 PM

This was one of the funnest articles to come through my aggregator in quite a while:   SAT: Sexiness Aptitude Test - My score was nice.  ;)   I even shopped with #3 in mind...yum.   Comments7:51:38 PM

QUOTE TIME!  I'm not sure where this love of quotes comes from, but sometimes a sentence (even out of context) is touching to me.  And I like that "right on!" feeling.  'Cause part of me has been seeking a higher independence & some aloneness: "Anything you fully do is an alone journey."  - Natalie Goldberg (Comment:  Eh...the truth is that even when you're doing things with someone else, it's rare that you're actually aligned) "He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."  - Douglas Adams (Comment:  Ever end the day and wonder where it went or what you'll remember about this day?  It is just a day, but those days add up...quickly) And sometimes I really love my friends... "When life seems chaotic, you don't need people giving you easy answers or cheap promises. There might not be any answers to your problems. What you need is a safe place where you can bounce with people who have taken some bad hops of their own."  - Real Live Preacher (Comment:  His words have a way of touching me - a stranger I love a bit) And sometimes more than friends is good.  heh.  "Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it." -Anon "Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high." - Adrienne Gusoff No comment. Comments7:37:26 PM

After much, much effort my blog is working again!!  Took me a couple of reinstalls, but I guess I finally covered/fixed whatever was causing the crash at install. Now to figure out what was important enough from this week to post! Comments7:14:20 PM

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