BEST. FILTHY. LIE. EVER.
Looks like J's gonna end up on my ever-growing list of "bloggers I'll never be funnier than". Here he comes with Evil Glenn's trip to the afterlife:
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"Mr. Reynolds? Mr. Reynolds?"
His eyes fluttered. His fingers twitched, stabbing at a non-existent keyboard. He sat up suddenly, a tiny trickle of saliva starting at the corner of his mouth. Eyes wide, he snapped his head back and forth, shock and fear on his face. He was in a clean hospital room, on a bed with blinding white sheets.
"Where's the flames?" he asked, eyes darting back and forth.
"Flames?" the old man in the white lab coat asked, "What flames?"
"I was expecting flames. They all said I was going to hell, so I was expecting flames," Glenn Reynolds said. He quickly looked himself over. He seemed to be okay, other than the hospital gown gapping at the back.
“Well, Mr. Reynolds. I certainly hope we exceed your expectations.” The old man smiled. Glenn felt the radiant and galactic warmth in that smile and was heartened. Perhaps all those late night rituals hadn’t been damning.
“There are a few things we need to discuss before we proceed, Mr. Reynolds.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. There are a number of missing puppies that we believe you were responsible for.”
The trickle of saliva increased into a stream. Glenn’s tongue touched his lips as he reveled in a momentary orgy of sensual memory. “Heh,” was all he managed to say.
**********
Plenty more. Go check it out. Drink Alert in effect.
posted by Harvey at 9:00:53 PM permalink HOME
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