KANGAROOS (A FILTHY LIE)
Blogging was kinda light Saturday night, but there was a good reason for that. I'd just sat down in front of my computer when the doorbell rang. I answered my door to find a kangaroo standing on my front porch...
Harv: ...Uh, may I help you?
Kangaroo: Yes, I'm Long Dong Hopalong. I'm here about the ad you placed on animalaction.com.
Harv: Ad?
Kangaroo: Yes, the one that said, "Wanted: well-endowed marsupial for lead role in adult film. Some trans-species mating required."
Harv: I'm sorry, you must have the wrong address.
Kangaroo: Hmmm... let me check my notes... Oh! You're right. My mistake. Sorry to have bothered you.
... and he hopped away.
I was a little unnerved by the experience, but the blogosphere was calling, so I went back to my computer. I'd just sat back down when the doorbell rang again. This time it was a ewe decked out in leather boots and a red teddy.
Ewe: Hi. I'm Wicked Wooly Wanda. I'm here about the ad you placed on animalaction.com.
Harv: You're not a marsupial.
Ewe: Not THAT ad, silly. I'm talking about the one that said, "Wanted: willing female ovine who can take it any way it's given. Some trans-species mating required."
Harv: I'm afraid there must be some sort of mistake. I didn't place any ad.
Ewe: Hmmm... that's possible. My brain IS the size of a walnut, so I tend to get things confused. Let me check my notes... Whoops! My b-a-a-a-d.
... and away she went.
I was deeply disturbed by these two incidents, so I spent the next couple hours sitting in the corner of my basement, rocking back and forth, mumbling, "this is not happening" over and over.
When the shock had worn off a bit, I decided to check out animalaction.com. After clicking here and there, I finally found a link to "Evil Glenn Productions" and discovered the cause of the night's events. Apparently Evil Glenn had finished his Antarctic expedition and moved on to other projects. Right there under "Back Door Birdie" and "Tux & Sucks" was a promo for his latest film:
Evil Glenn Productions proudly presents:
Hoppin' & Humpin'
Starring Long Dong Hopalong and Wicked Wooly Wanda.
[screenshot]
I'm too sickened to be outraged. Marauding Marsupials and Large Mammals deserve to roam the Ecosystem freely and not be seduced into a life of degradation serving Evil Glenn's filthy whims. This has to end NOW!
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
(Hat tip to Tiger for providing the source image which I first found, slightly modified for his own nefarious purposes, here)
posted by Harvey at 11:56:16 PM permalink HOME
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