HALLOWEEN
(A FILTHY LIE)
I was trying to figure out what Evil Glenn might be doing for Halloween, but apparently my comedic muse was at Madfish Willie's knocking back a few cold ones, because I just couldn't think of anything. As I was staring helplessly at a blank computer screen, the phone rang...
Evil Glenn: Hey currency freak, how's it going? *sip* [BELCH!] Excuse me! Poodles give me gas.
Harv: You sick bastard! Why don't you just leave me alone? I'm trying to blog here.
Evil Glenn: Indeed. Well, I just called to mock you and Frank J's feeble Alliance. I heard the League of Multiple Voters is going to kick your ass in the New Blog Showcase voting this week, and I just wanted to be the first to tell you how pathetic you guys are.
Harv: Yeah, well... uh... we've got... uh... a plan to... uh... fix that.
Evil Glenn: Oh? Do tell.
Harv: Well, it's kind of a rough draft at this point, but we were going to have them all dress as hobos & tell them you were having a costume party. I thought maybe you could lend us a hammer... a hand with that?
Evil Glenn: Well, the old Craftsman could use a workout... let me think about that one. Meanwhile, let me taunt you with my Halloween plans. Guess what my costume will be.
Harv: A puppy?
Evil Glenn: No, I might get blended by one of my minions. Too dangerous.
Harv: A hobo?
Evil Glenn: Similar problem, except without the blender.
Harv: Satan?
Evil Glenn: No, too inhumanly evil to appear in public. I'd likely be torn apart by an angry mob of decent God-fearing people.
Harv: A lawyer?
Evil Glenn: Ditto.
Harv: A penguin?
Evil Glenn: No. I'd be too aroused by the sight of myself to get any blogging done. I can't type one-handed.
Harv: A kangaroo?
Evil Glenn: Hey, that's a good idea! Plus, I might be able to get a little hot ewe action on the side as a bonus. But that's not what I was planning.
Harv: Naked Helen Thomas?
Evil Glenn: [YAAAARK!] EWWWW! What a horrid thought!... Hey, did you know poodles tastes just as good on the way up?
Harv: I really didn't need to hear that. How about Mao Tse Tung?
Evil Glenn: No, I don't want to get mistaken for a Democratic presidential candidate.
Harv: Oh the hell with it! I give up! What's your costume gonna be?
Evil Glenn: No, come on, guess.
Harv: Up yours, Blender Boy. I don't have time for your stupid games. Just tell me.
Evil Glenn: Well, I was going to tell you, but since you're being such a prick, you'll just have to wait until Friday. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Indeed!
[click]
Harv: Filthy scum-sucking bottom feeder.
So, I still don't know what Evil White Glenn's Halloween costume is going to be, but I did receive an e-mail shortly afterwards:
Harv,
Lawyer.
Glenn
And it had this picture attached.
But I'm not sure if it means anything.
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
posted by Harvey at 7:27:13 PM permalink HOME
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