Something funny for your Sunday from Arvin Meyer:

Costello: "Hey Abbott!!!"

Abbott: "Yes, Lou?"

Costello: "I just got my first computer."

Abbott: "That's great Lou. What did you get?"

Costello: "A Pentium III-500, 256 Megs of RAM, 12 Gig hard drive, and a
DVD!"

Abbott: "That's terrific, Lou."

Costello: "But I don't know what any of it means!"

Abbott: "You will in time."

Costello: "That's exactly why I am here to see you."

Abbott: "Oh?"

Costello: "I heard that you are a real computer wiz"

Abbott: "Well, I don't know..."

Costello: "Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me."

Abbott: "Really?"

Costello: "Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson."

Abbott: "O.K. Lou. What do want to know?"

Costello: "I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should
be very careful how you turn it off."

Abbott: "That's true."

Costello: "So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it
off. What do I do?"

Abbott: "Well, first yo u press the Start button, and then.."

Costello: "No, I told you, I want to turn it off."

Abbott: "I know, you press the Start button.."

Costello: "Wait a second. I want to turn it Off. I know how to start it. So
tell me what to do."

Abbott: "I did."

Costello: "When?"

Abbott: "When I told you to press the Start button!"

Costello: "Why should I press the Start button?"

Abbott: "To shut off the computer."

Costello: "I press Start to stop?"

Abbott: "Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer."

Costello: "I knew it! So what do I press?"

Abbott: "Start."

Costello: "Start what?"

Abbott: "Start button."

Costello: "Start button to do what?"

Abbott: "Shut down."

Costello: "You don't have to get rude!"

Abbott: "No, no, no! That's not what I meant."

Costello: "Then say what you mean."

Abbott: "To shut down the computer, press.."

Costello: "Don't say, "'Start!"'

Abbott: "Then what do you want me to say?"

Costello: "Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press
the Stop button, the End button, Cease and Desist button, but no one in
their right mind presses the Start to Stop."

Abbott: "But that's what you do."

Costello: "And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights."

Abbott: "Don't be ridiculous."

Costello: "I'm being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started
this conversation."

Abbott: "What are you talking about?"

Costello: "I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye."