I've been inspired by what DaveW has been busy with lately, and Alwin's outburst yesterday which led to the notion of the UgBRoll macro. Obviously I need more practice formatting a spec proposal for ease of reading, but here's a public draft to get things moving in some direction...

This morning, I've been considering a version 0.93.141592653589793238462643383279 spec for the UgBRoll macro, which will operate on an OPML file. Certainly, the simple presentation of those folks who have made your UgB list could be accomplished merely by copying and renaming the existing blogroll macro and pointing it to an appropriate OPML file, or using the existing blogroll macro unmodified. But that wouldn't contain all of the functionality that would be nice to have in a good UgBRoll macro. So, I've decided to take part of this holiday and roll up my sleeves...

The bitchSmak feature

Why: Because sometimes just adding someone to a list isn't enough to show how you really feel.

Background: The first addition is inspired by the TrackBack feature of MoveableType. But it serves a slightly different purpose. Trackback is aimed at the level of a single post. But if someone has actually made your UgBRoll, it is likely there may be more than a single post on your blog involved, hence your placing them in your list. (Then again, you may be capable of showing considerable restraint, and consolidate all that bile into a single post. Your choice.) Anyway, the feature will operate on parts of the actual list, so it can appear on every page of your blog, if you wish, not just be limited to a single post.

How: The first added feature will use an attribute named izumaBitch (pronounced "Izuma Beeee-otch!?!"), that should be a Boolean value (either hellYea or false -- note that I have also seen the need to extend the list of possible Boolean values, since "true" just doesn't provide enough emphasis in this situation...). The izumaBitch attribute must be specified as part of the anchor tag for an entry on your UgBRoll list. The macro will accept a similarly named parameter-value pair, of course.

Potential implementation constraints: Now here's the tricky part of this implementation, where I'll have to get all of the industry's hardware manufacturers to add some minor equipment to their laptop and desktop units. It would consist of a jointed titanium-alloy retractable arm, with an appropriate number of 3-Volt stepper motors driving it, and a fairly hefty silicone hand (for ease of cleaning and to avoid providing a safe harbor for bacteria). The stepper motors will be connected to a chipset on the motherboard which can receive and process an XML-RPC message (I'm waiting to hear back from representatives from AMD, Intel, Motorola and Frito-Lay as to who will be first to come to the table with an appropriate chipset.).

How I envision it working: When someone reading your blog clicks on the link containing a URL with an izumaBitch attribute and the value of "hellYea", an XML-RPC message is sent (details for the contents of that message TBD later, while the message could be generated by a Javascript action) across the Internet to the computer of the owner of that URL (as determined by a whois lookup). The payload of that message will cause the arm to rise up and smite the targeted person "with great vengeance and furious anger", in the grand manner of a wide-brimmed-hat wearing character actor in a 1970's Blaxsploitation flick.

The beauty of this proposal is not only the use of high-tech metals and sexy but dead-simple protocols, but it would enable the use of proxy users (*any* of your weblog visitors) to bitchSmak the fools who've made your list. Remember the use of proxies can make the Web a better place. (Ooooh! Note to self: Tag-line that one!)

Comments and suggested additions are welcome. Of course, if you like this, you can let me know that, too. ;-) [Update: Alwin expresses extreme regret at having spawned this mess, and asks for your help...]

2:24:35 PM  [] blah blah blah'd on this