licentious radio

Saturday, June 14, 2003
[7:58:20 PM]

Quick propaganda mid-course correction: yesterday the Saddam-remnant elements were mostly foreigners. Boggles the mind, right? Today they're quick mostly Iraqis with just a few foreigners. Doesn't matter: 70 of 71 of them were killed in the massacre.

And military officers who swore an oath to protect the United States of America say outrageously moronic things like "this is 'old' resistance".... We're supposed to believe that the fighting isn't with people who are newly opposed to the American occupation, but rather with people who never gave up the fight, and the occupation forces are only now reaching them. And we're supposed to believe that that's a relevant distinction.

Hearts and minds, baby.

How stupid do you have to be to fire all the soldiers? Yeah! Let's give all the trained soldiers a personal reason to want us out of the country. I'm sure they'll stay at home watching soap operas until the economy recovers....

Damn. Iraq is one big magnet for any whacko who dreams of killing an American. Have you noticed that very few free-fire zones are democracies?

I have a suggestion: let's identify all the suicide-bomber groups, and attack them directly. If we get into direct conflict with Hamas and such, they'll send their suicide bombers to Baghdad to blow up American traffic cops. That's a good idea.... I mean, it's the only stupid idea that Bush hasn't tried yet.

[7:37:48 PM]
Wasn't it just a few days ago that the Head Moron said the world is more peaceful than before his stupid war? What a fuck-up.

Let's face it, people: George W. Bush is the worst president in the history of the United States, and that's really saying something.

[7:25:56 PM]
Westar.... The "pay-to-play" question is obvious, but mundane. It's really that these vile Republicans are beyond corruption: you don't pay to get them on your side, you pay to keep them on your side. There's a big difference. They're going to do what they can to enrich their cronies. You pay up to avoid the embarrassment of jail time, that Democratic contributors get, and because it's the "right" thing to do for the people that brought the dance to you.

Westar is interesting because it shows how campaign finance really works. If you look at corporate campaign contributions, the numbers don't add up. It's only when you realize that corporations tell their employees who to donate money to that you understand what's really going on. Westar gives you memos with lists of which employee should donate how much money to which DeLay-backed right-wing political hack.

It seems to me that the way to combat this is to publicize such lists. The law should require political donors to list all employers, and Democrats should publish to the dime how much money is being laundered to the Republican Party through the employees of Republican corporations.

[11:24:15 AM]
MS Mission Accomplished!

Seattle (licentious) -- Microsoft founder Bill Gates announced "Mission Accomplished" on board the aircraft carrier Ken Olsen today. "Major combat operations in the web browser business have ended," announced Gates, while standing under a huge banner reading "Mission Accomplished".

"Because of you, our monopoly is more secure. Because of you, the competition has fallen, and the internet is in chains," was his message. "The board of directors is grateful for a job well done."

The carrier landing and speech were to announce the end of development of Microsoft's web browser -- used by 85-95% of web surfers. The Macintosh version will be eliminated like Jimmy Hoffa, and future development of Windows IE separate from the operating system will be in "maintenance mode" only -- akin to the preservation of Lenin's corpse in Moscow's Red Square.

According to Gates after the speech, "We paid good money for this monopoly -- $25,000 to John Ashcroft, specifically. It's time to take advantage of our total victory and stop wasting money on a technology that only supports our enemies."

Gates also announced a new commitment to standards: "Whatever we say, goes."

Internet webloggers pointed out that browser development at Microsoft continues, but will be embedded in specific products that support Microsoft's overall strategy. For instance, while Mac IE is deader than Osama Bin Laden, a new and improved browser is embedded in the Mac version of the subscription-based MSN service. Microsoft also says the next release of the Windows operating system will contain a new version of IE -- that won't be available for previous versions of the Windows operating system.

MSNBC pundits on board the carrier noted a gigantic bulge in the crotch area of His Billness's flightsuit. The three supposedly heterosexual middle-aged men discussed at great length how sexy Bill appeared with the giant bulge, and that they knew women would be positively drooling to get at Bill's "product". Journalists not on Microsoft's payroll were somewhat less convinced.