QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND
"I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive."
- - George W. Bush, 8/4/02, on violence in the Middle East and his golf game
RHINO HERE: In the now several week old tradition of having the weekend Rhino's Blog be humor flavored, I give you several tidbits to make your weekend smirkable.
1) Mother Jones Magazine has announced its' 3rd Annual "Diddly Awards" honoring our rubber-stamp Congress whose members have found plenty of time to do squat.
http://www.motherjones.com/magazine/SO02/diddly.html
2) The New Hampshire Gazette, the nation's oldest newspaper, has assembled a database of what they call "chickenhawks", defined as follows: "public persons - generally male - who (1) tend to advocate, or are fervent supporters of those who advocate, military solutions to political problems, and who have personally (2) declined to take advantage of a significant opportunity to serve in uniform during wartime."
A few examples include Defense Department Iraq hawks like Paul Wolfowitz and Richard Perle; White House adviser Karl Rove; professional blabbers George Will, William Kristol, Rush Limbaugh and Pat Buchanan; Republican leaders Trent Lott, Dennis Hastert, Dick Armey and Tom DeLay; and Rambo himself, Sylvester Stallone. Some of the more humorous reasons given (and remember, this is all true) were by pundit and politician Buchanan "bad knees" (went on to become an avid jogger), DeLay, working as a pest exterminator during Vietnam, is reported to have complained that he would have served but all the places were taken up by black people and possibly the best, rabid radio personality Limbaugh, "anal cysts".
http://www.nhgazette.com/chickenhawks.html
3) And finally, the tale below, of America's King George II, discussing leadership with the Queen of England.
While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate." She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Tony Blair responds ,"It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" "Yes, ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me." "Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" "Huh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves.
Helms immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you dumb cracker."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you moron, it's Tony Blair!
"
9:54:29 AM 
|
|
