From Thursday night's David Letterman:

Top Ten President Bush Excuses For Not Finding Weapons of Mass Destruction

10. "We've only looked through 99% of the country"
9. "We spent the entire budget making those playing cards"
8. "Containers are labeled in some crazy language"
7. "They must have been stolen by some of them evil X-Men mutants"
6. "Did I say Iraq has weapons of mass destruction? I meant they have goats"
5. "How are we supposed to find weapons of mass destruction when we can't even find Cheney?"
4. "Still screwed up because of Daylight Savings Time"
3. "When you're trying to find something, it's always in the last place you look, am I right, people?"
2. "Let's face it -- I ain't exactly a genius"
1. "Geraldo took them"

6:10:17 PM  #   your two cents []

Ryanair profits soar. "The world's favourite airline is 'the paddys'," Mr O'Leary declared. "I've got no shortage of humility." [Guardian Unlimited]
12:27:41 PM  #   your two cents []

And don't forget the Irish blog get-together tonight in Dublin, 8pm.
10:10:12 AM  #   your two cents []

Salam Pax everywhere: Slate has a fascinating piece by journalist Peter Maass, who suddenly realised he had employed Salam Pax (whose real name is Salam) as an interpreter while he was reporting from Iraq: "Salam—this is his real first name—was sitting in a chair in the lobby, reading Philip K. Dick's The Man in the High Castle. I knew, at that moment, that I would hire him." Meanwhile, over on The Guardian, Mr Pax is going to do a biweekly column from Iraq for the G2 section. Excellent! He's a great writer, and his Iraq blog was/is utterly fascinating/devastating/moving. The first column runs tomorrow, Wednesday.
9:57:34 AM  #   your two cents []

Blogging at the centre of emerging democracy [free version]. This is my Irish Times piece [sub only version] from Friday on Joi Ito, who did a session at the ISC conference in Switzerland: "I blog all day long," he confesses. "It's like a conversation that's continuous, not like publishing."
9:36:48 AM  #   your two cents []

As you do: Body parts for rent. A Northumbria University student is hoping to supplement his student loan by renting out parts of his body. [Guardian Unlimited]
9:27:11 AM  #   your two cents []

Resistance really was futile. Microsoft and AOL announce an unholy $750 million alliance. Where does that leave Mozilla, Netscape's open-source rebel child? [Salon.com]
9:23:25 AM  #   your two cents []

Soyuz launches European Mars spacecraft. [spacetoday.net]
9:20:49 AM  #   your two cents []

Lotsa Nokia: Nokia still atop growing mobile market. Sales of mobile phones jumped 18 percent in the first quarter, with the Finnish company continuing to outpace competitors, a new report says. [CNET News.com] And also see: Nokia teams with Warner Music. The deal will allow Warner to offer song clips from emerging artists, ring tones and multimedia message templates for Nokia 3300 owners.
9:19:29 AM  #   your two cents []

S.E.C. Asks I.B.M. for Information. I.B.M. said that the Securities and Exchange Commission was investigating how the company accounted for revenue in certain customer transactions 2000 and 2001. [New York Times: Technology]
9:17:50 AM  #   your two cents []

Boing Boing Blog: Keanu gives Matrix F/X guys millions each. "Keanu Reeves says he has enough money to last him 'for the next few centuries.' So he is giving £50 million to the 29 people on the special effects team behind The Matrix: Reloaded. Each will get £1.75 million. What a cool guy!"
9:16:12 AM  #   your two cents []