Did Those Days Prepare Me For This?

In those days I would drive to Austin every Friday to spend whatever time I could with Ben. And I would wait as long as possible on Sunday and leave for Houston only as evening settled. As I drove home, with Ben standing by the curb waving until I had turned the far corner down the street, with the setting sun in my rear view mirror, tears would stream down my cheeks, and the following week was only the interval between now and the next trip.

In a way, those days steeled me for the college days to come, a time that is hard on parents unaccustomed to distance from their kids. The years of driving to see him hurt enough that I figure I've long been prepared for this.

Still, as we sat in the living room last night, he reading a book in the recliner over there, I typing at the keyboard in the recliner over here, with the arms of the clock on the mantle showing a late hour, I heard myself saying, "Ben, it's time for bed."

The band has a trip today, you see, and he needed a nudge, and I was happy to give it to him, 18 years old or not. I figure it's one of the last ones I'll have a chance to give.

On reflection, maybe I'm not as prepared as I think I am.

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