Maggie and Frank really go to pieces when I get angry at them or around them. I remember taking on the burden of an adult's feelings when I was little. It is not useful for a kid to do that but the kid never conciously decides to do it nor does he think about its usefulness. The kid only thinks, "how do I make this adult not be angry?"
I figured out last night that I have a real easy time directing my anger towards my children.It sure isn't satisfying, but it is safe. I of course try to restrain myself, but find that anger still leaks or pours out onto these defenseless personalities. Meanwhile, it could take me weeks to express my anger at an adult. What the hell is up with that? and how do I fix it before I mess my kids up? I am into goal setting. Should I set a goal of blowing my stack at someone today? Maybe a little huffiness towards the security guard would be a safe place to start. Or the next telemarketer.
11:29:06 AM
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