Jim's Pond - Exploring the Universe of Ideas
"Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. Then all things are at risk. It is as when a conflagration has broken out in a great city, and no man knows what is safe, or where it will end." --Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sunday, December 14, 2003

One Way Technology

Talk about your delicate issue. This is one that could get me into a bunch of hot water. Oh, well, Caution to the wind. Damn the torpedos.

Every once in a while I wake up late. Most often for one particular reason. Here is the scene:

It's late at night. I'm tired. I set the alarm for early the next morning and click the switch to music. Then I check to make sure that the the PM light is on along with the ALARM 1 light. All set and then off to dreamland. And no music at 5:00 AM. What went wrong?

Then there is always the problem of setting everything and having the alarm go off at 12:00 midnight. I fumble to stop the music and then seven minutes later I'm fumbling again. What causes such annoying problems?

The woman I live with.

Yes, she's lovely and sweet and helpful. She doesn't mind doing the dishes. Making the bed isn't a chore. She doesn't give me a hard time when I want to go golfing all Saturday afternoon. In almost every respect she is the perfect companion. But.......

She doesn't seem to understand that switches are for ON and OFF. So when she's home and wants to listen to Dr. Laura, there is only one radio she knows how to use. And it's my alarm clock radio. She knows where the ON buttion is and how to use it. She even knows how to turn the volume up and down. So when she listens to the radio in the afternoon she has to set the volume UP. And when she leaves she turns the volume DOWN. All the way DOWN.

Mystery solved. I've learned that I need to hit the sleep button to check for radio volume as part of my nightly ritual. When I forget to check there is a risk. Oh, and I've learned to set ALARM 2 for 7:00 AM. That way when my lovely bride fumbles for the on switch and happens to activate the second alarm, it doesn't go off at midnight.

The only bit of solice afforded me is that when I tell other guys this story they smile and nod in the affirmative. This seems to be a problem with other members of the fairer sex. I've been considering an inservice meeting. A training of sorts to see if I can get the women I live with to learn the functions of switches and the limited role of the volume nob. I really want to teach the class. But in the end I also realize that the effort would be wasted. Technical training in my home to the testosterone challenged members of my family would be an exercise in futility.

So, I just have to check the volume. If I don't and something goes wrong there is no one to blame but myself..........
9:05:15 PM    comment []






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