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Friday, August 01, 2003
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Lots of people I know are really into Dr. Phil in his book. And I have to admit that if I'm home in the afternoon I'll flip over to see what he's talking about. He gives decent advice. I bought one of his books a few months ago and it's set unopened on my desk at work. Today I decided to take a Subway lunch rather than going home and take a look at it. I'll share some of it here if it's interesting, but being a skimmer, I'll share the first part now.
Ten Laws of Life
- You either get it or you don't. (Strategy: Become one of those who gets it).
- You create your own experience (Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life).
- People do what works (Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others).
- You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. (Strategy: Get real with yourself about life and everybody in it).
- Life rewards action. (Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger).
- There is no reality; only perception. (Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world.)
- Life is managed; it is not cured. (Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life.)
- We teach people how to treat us. (Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you.)
- There is power in forgiveness. (Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you.)
- You have to name it before you can claim it. (Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn).
Obviously there's a whole book about this, but I wanted to touch on the high-level thoughts of these.
I think my favorite is #2. I like to think that I'm accountable for what happens in my life. It doesn't mean I don't ever fight it and try to blame experiences (or lack of them) on other people or situations, but the fact is...this is my life and if I don't like something, I'm the only one that's going to change it for me.
My least favorite is #6. The book starts the chapter with this Shakespeare quote, "There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so." I hate the idea of no standards for truth. When I think of it, the most annoying thing that comes to mind is people's misunderstandings of others intentions. For example, if I send someone an e-mail saying, "I can't make it to tonight" and the truth is "I have another obligation" but they take it as "oh, she's pissed at me"...that's annoying. What I thought and said would've been the truth. The other person's perception is NOT truth.
The one that I probably need the most work on is # 10. The chapter for this one starts with, "I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific" (Lily Tomlin & Jane Wagner). I have one friend that has a list of everything they want to accomplish. I don't have that list. I have a really, really hard time deciding what exactly it is I want to do. But I do want to be above average and exciting. I don't know why that is and where to start to overcome it. Oh, I could start by reading that chapter.
12:28:39 PM 
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Benevolent Leadership. More from the 5 Patterns of Extraordinary Careers. Sorry to ramble on, but this stuff is golden. I'd re-print every word if I wouldn't be breaking every known copyright law in existence. I wish wish wish I'd had this book when I was 24. As it is, I'm probably 5-7 years behind where I should be (I'm 39, and am where I should have been at about 32)... Better late than never!
Practice Benevolent Leadership A leader is best when people barely know that he exists. He is the teacher who succeeds without taking credit. And, because credit is not taken, credit is received. -Lao Tzu, 6th Century B.C. The curse of the highly talented person is that everyone wants him to do everything. … Rather than go it alone, become fanatical about wooing, hiring, and retaining the most talented people in (the) business. Create an environment that would be the most attractive to the very best people, one of open communication and deep trust, in which (your) subordinates' success will be more important that even (your) own. (48) We are reluctant to let go of the belief that if I am to care for something, I must control it. So many people progress in their careers hoping to ensure short-term success by tight oversight, while long-term success slips away. Extraordinary success is achieved by makthosehose around you successful. The benevolent leader maximizes performance through facilitation. She eliminates barriers for subordinates and leads with authority, even though at times appearing to be just one of the pack. It's easy to know when a benevolent leader is in charge. The telltale signs? Information and authority flow freely. Honesty abounds. People are free to question authority without retribution. Creativity reigns. Each member of the team feels just as accountable to the other team members as to the leader. (50) Nearly 90 percent of extraordinarily successful executives were described as being concerned about their careers of their subordinates as much or more than their own careers. (52) To put this lesson another way: The extraordinary executive does not claw his way to the top, he is carried there. (53) So what really motivates the best and the brightest? In our survey we asked how respondents personally defined career success. Two key factors emerged. The first, one of the most often cited, was "freedom in my job to do the things I want." ...…The second was "to be well regarded in my company or industry." (55) Successful executives ask "How will this job, working for this boss, help me achieve the level of respect and impact that I desire? He asks, explicitly or implicitly, about each new opportunity. Highly successful individuals also add another question: "If I am successful, will the organization or team be successful?" (55) Professionals understand the importance of joining the best program and actively seek it out. This becomes a virtuous circle--the best people create the best results, which in turn attract the best people. ... Professionals who create a winning environment, usually end up winners. (58)  Of the four leadership styles, I find myself probably in the "Good Citizen" block. As I gain experience and confidence, I'm sure I'll move more into the "Benevolent Leader" box, since it so closely aligns with my own personal values. By the way, for a clue on how I got a pre-release copy, look here. [John Porcaro's Weblog]
8:39:25 AM
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© Copyright 2005 Rebecca Schwoch.
Last update: 2/8/2005; 2:13:02 PM.
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