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	Tuesday, April 13, 2004

TAGLINES FOR AIR AMERICA (A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT) The premise is simple. If Rush Limbaugh can have success on talk radio as a right-wing commentator, then there MUST be a crying need for left-wing talk radio, too, right? Not even close, but when you're a lefty, facts are just annoying things to be clubbed over the head with your emotions like so many baby seals. You just gotta wish hard enough, and you'll get what you want. But in addition to happy wishes, if you're going to succeed in this business, you need a witty tagline to succinctly capture your essence. Rush has "Excellence in Broadcasting", Fox News has "Fair and Balanced". Air America has... well, looking at their web site... nothing. That's just sad. Here... let me help:   Finally, a network to the left of CNN More spin than a helicopter rotor. Where unfunny hack comedians got to die. Of the ignorant, by the ignorant, for the ignorant. The place to go when you're just too damn lazy to think for yourself. Proving that just because you wear glasses doesn't mean you have intelligence. As good a place to end our careers as we can hope for. Proud member of the Axis of Drivel. Almost as unbiased as Dan Rather. No, this is NOT just the DNC's way of dodging McCain-Feingold, why do you ask? Because "bullshitconspiracytheories.com" was already taken. Not affiliated with John Kerry for President. At least on paper. Thank God for the Shredmaster 3000. The one who will finally bring balance to The Force in accordance with prophecy. Think of us as the audio version of the Democratic Underground. Because seven networks and five cable news channels bashing Bush 24 hours a day JUST ISN'T ENOUGH! NPR for dummies. Check it out - we've even got a black guy. In your face, Limbaugh! Coming soon to a tinfoil hat near you. Like Rush without the drug addiction or the common sense. Because Al Franken's mouth is too freakishly wide to appear on television. More flaming assholes than the Preparation-H test labs. Winner of the Jayson Blair "Credibilty in Media" Award. Nearly as accurate as an Arthur Andersen audit. Don't worry, we promise to go away as soon as the election is over. SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS! posted by Harvey at 6:02:25 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME

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