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	Wednesday, April 28, 2004

SCANDAL! (A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT) Documents discovered in Iraq recently have uncovered the shocking discovery that hundreds the UN's Oil for Food program is rife with corruption. Who could've guessed? Ok, everybody, but as more documents are discovered and translated, we can expect further revelations. I anticipate the following will soon come to light: Secret genetic experiments, most of which went horribly wrong. DNA tests prove Jacques Chirac is Uday's real father. The "mobile weapons labs" were actually carrying Saddam's secret supply of inflatable sheep. (SFW) Video tapes proving that Saddam and Osama were secret lovers (Ok, I got that one from the Weekly World News). Michael Moore's love letters to a camel with a Britney-Spears-shaped birthmark. Naked pictures of Helen Thomas. (SFW) Proof that the Iraqi Information Minister, Baghdad Bob, was the ghost-writer for "Bowling for Columbine." Yellow legal pad covered with the words "Kerry '04" in Saddam's handwriting. Proof that Russia, China, France and Germany conspired to award the Miss Universe crown to Miss Iraq, despite the fact that the rules clearly indicated that she should be disqualified for excessive back hair. Documents showing that, despite claims to the contary, Bill Clinton clearly knew what the meaning of the word "is" was. A short e-mail from CNN: "Don't worry, we won't tell anyone." Saddam's secret plan for acquittal at his upcoming trial: 1) practice golf swing 2) buy gloves 2 sizes too small 3) drive slow Memo claiming that Saddam never had WMD's. There was merely a translation error. What he said was that he had "a dreadful social disease". SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS! posted by Harvey at 6:35:26 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME

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