This boy for sale
Today's ugliest American is Colt's Quarterback Peyton Manning.
Boy for Sale. Dial 1-800-Flog (ext)#18. Need to move those usuriously interest rated credit cards? Peyton is ready, willing, able if the price is right. But he can't be bought, no sir, he's already rich beyond your wildest dreams Mr. and Mrs. Joe Twelvepack. He's your hero. Now a days, Peyton recognizes that he is a role model to all little boys everywhere, and he has that covered too. He doesn't shill cigarettes, illegal drugs, or hard liquor. Peyton is against anything that impedes the search for even more marketability than one already has is ultimately harmful in the final balance sheet.
More things Peyton belives in are; the abolition of the death tax, the righteousness of our Holy Crusade in Iraq, balancing the budget within this century, that George W. Bush is a great leader, and that 3400 dead soldiers most of whom couldn't play football in Peyton's jockstrap in four years is a small price to pay for his family of Ford Explorers, McMansions, Bluetooth wireless technology, and the invisible hand of the market that keeps speculation in fossil fuels profitable, and affordable healthcare for those who can afford it, like the Mannings. Not losers like you.
And when Peyton's kids grow up, he wants to make sure there will be a place for them in the NFL, because that's how he got there, and then they too can win the Super Bowl, and become a huge success as an actor in commercials. A staunch and active Republican, Peyton has worked hard, flown on many jets corprate and campaign, he's comped everywhere he goes, and the broads who won't leave him alone, has through his example, taught millions of American kids that their only real worth is their net worth. Then they too can contribute the maximum to the needy GOP candidates, and well heeled tax dodge foundations of their choosing. Only in America would such a thing be possible.
My wife thinks he's ugly.
11:15:42 AM
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