Was it the lava, Dave?  9:01:16 PM     Add a comment   

News Flash! The lava flow, previously though to just be incredibly cool is 'fucking hot as hell'. Experts are now warning citizens to avoid prolonged exposure to the molten rock, lest scalding occur.  8:00:00 PM     Add a comment   

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details in side.

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upsidedown."

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."  5:24:35 PM     Add a comment